yeah, this is probably coming to a close without those guitar theatrics, after all.
i'm torn between stopping and noodling over the end part and leaning very heavily towards stopping.
it's just that i want to maintain the sombre, reflective quality of the section as an end to the piece, and ultimately a transition into the next track. it does get a little more busy at the end as it fades out, but all i'm going to accomplish by putting an electric guitar in there is to saturate the track.
i haven't decided entirely. i'm going to make some spaghetti and come back. but i think this version is done...
what i did instead is run a guitar through a synthesizer, and then shift it over a few octaves. that makes it sound a little like a trumpet.
Friday, July 18, 2014
i have the cockroach specimen you requested
hi.
i got the roach you asked for. i'll be out tomorrow morning for groceries, but should otherwise be home almost all of the upcoming week.
a few notes.
1) that's the first roach i've seen since the first week of june, and it's also the first roach i've killed on the side of the apartment closest to the door. it was actually right outside the door, in the hallway, and scattered when i turned on the light. so, it got stomped on. that felt good.
2) it is indeed an oriental roach, which is determined primarily by it's dark colour.
3) oriental roaches are seasonal. it's been cool overnight this week. they tend to come inside in the fall. so, i was expecting them and hoping this would be a good test if my barriers were working.
4) the fact that it was stumbling around in the hallway far from a water source does suggest as much, although it also suggests that it may have been scattered in an unexpected direction from it's entry path in the back area by the residual sprays. i'll monitor the situation further, but if i continue to see roaches scattering around on the outside of the apartment, i'm going to request that the back room gets inspected for holes and has steel wool or whatever else put in to patch them up. i can help with looking for holes. the thing is that i can block the holes in the apartment, but i can't block the doorways, so if they're going to be coming in through there then the basement entry points need to also be addressed.
5) for now, i'm cautiously concluding that i've blocked this space off, but that it's only a partial barrier. further, there's really no way for me to guess where it actually came from, so no further leads on holes to patch.
(pause)
i'm sorry, i just want to clarify that when i say
"back room gets inspected for holes"
i mean inspected by you or i or paul or whatever. i'm NOT requesting an exterminator.
those guys tell you lies half the time, anyways. they want to be able to come back repeatedly, otherwise they're out of a job.
j
i got the roach you asked for. i'll be out tomorrow morning for groceries, but should otherwise be home almost all of the upcoming week.
a few notes.
1) that's the first roach i've seen since the first week of june, and it's also the first roach i've killed on the side of the apartment closest to the door. it was actually right outside the door, in the hallway, and scattered when i turned on the light. so, it got stomped on. that felt good.
2) it is indeed an oriental roach, which is determined primarily by it's dark colour.
3) oriental roaches are seasonal. it's been cool overnight this week. they tend to come inside in the fall. so, i was expecting them and hoping this would be a good test if my barriers were working.
4) the fact that it was stumbling around in the hallway far from a water source does suggest as much, although it also suggests that it may have been scattered in an unexpected direction from it's entry path in the back area by the residual sprays. i'll monitor the situation further, but if i continue to see roaches scattering around on the outside of the apartment, i'm going to request that the back room gets inspected for holes and has steel wool or whatever else put in to patch them up. i can help with looking for holes. the thing is that i can block the holes in the apartment, but i can't block the doorways, so if they're going to be coming in through there then the basement entry points need to also be addressed.
5) for now, i'm cautiously concluding that i've blocked this space off, but that it's only a partial barrier. further, there's really no way for me to guess where it actually came from, so no further leads on holes to patch.
(pause)
i'm sorry, i just want to clarify that when i say
"back room gets inspected for holes"
i mean inspected by you or i or paul or whatever. i'm NOT requesting an exterminator.
those guys tell you lies half the time, anyways. they want to be able to come back repeatedly, otherwise they're out of a job.
j
Thursday, July 17, 2014
suicide is ALWAYS a conscious decision. take a step back away from your self-important worldview and ask yourself: is your perception of somebody else's life more valuable than the person that owns it?
whether the attempt is through overdosing on pills, cutting wrists or anything else, i would consider STOPPING a suicide attempt to be a FUNDAMENTAL INFRINGEMENT OF INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS, and anybody that gets in between somebody and their INHERENT RIGHT to kill themselves should be kicked in the forehead, tarred and feathered and forced to walk through the city with a sign that says "I PREVENTED SOMEBODY FROM CARRYING THROUGH WITH THEIR RIGHT TO DIE.".
if you see somebody trying to die, you should not interfere. life is not sacred. god does not exist. you are in control. don't deify the state in response. deify yourself.
whether the attempt is through overdosing on pills, cutting wrists or anything else, i would consider STOPPING a suicide attempt to be a FUNDAMENTAL INFRINGEMENT OF INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS, and anybody that gets in between somebody and their INHERENT RIGHT to kill themselves should be kicked in the forehead, tarred and feathered and forced to walk through the city with a sign that says "I PREVENTED SOMEBODY FROM CARRYING THROUGH WITH THEIR RIGHT TO DIE.".
if you see somebody trying to die, you should not interfere. life is not sacred. god does not exist. you are in control. don't deify the state in response. deify yourself.
well, that was indeed a kafkaesque mess but i got my expedited border clearance. hey, all those years of avoiding a criminal record came in handy. i'm squeaky clean. i get to use the special line...
but, that doesn't mean this wasn't a pain in the ass. i've ranted about this here quite a bit over the last year. it's only fitting that the last section of it was off the wall ridiculous...
getting across the actual border was not a problem. i just showed them my letter, and he let me through. but, he chuckled and wished me luck. he knew what was coming...
the walk up fort street at around 7 am was purposefully brisk; i was admittedly a little uncomfortable. but, the more i walked, the more it just reminded me of montreal. yes: detroit is full of decaying bridges, falling apart buildings, abandoned industrial centres, smoldering sewers and people sleeping on the street. but, i didn't feel threatened so much as i felt a level of empathy. how'd it get that bad, anyways?
the other thing that made me relax a little was a friendly retriever that ran over across a field to say good morning. it's funny how goldens are basically the universal stress reliever.
it was about twenty minutes to the bridge, which is a short walk for me.
once i got there, though, i wasn't sure how to proceed. i tried going under the bridge first. this is the first point that the smog got to me: i nearly heaved, and had to sit down. first attempt at directions was a hotel that looked like something out of a stephen king movie...
"do you know if i can get in some kind of plaza around the bridge?"
"no."
"does that pay phone work?"
*laughs* "no."
"do you know if there's a phone around here?"
"there's no gas stations for a good ways in either direction."
"well, thanks, then."
so, i went back under the bridge again...
there was a side street running along the complex (and it was a complex. it looked like a prison.) that i decided to take a walk up, and it took me into a nicer street full of very old churches and quaint, if dilapidated houses. three houses in a row had angry, barking, unchained rottweilers that could have easily hopped their four foot tall enclosures should they have decided to. it's a problem in windsor, too. cheaper than a security system, i guess.
and apparently very necessary.
i bumped into a border cop on his way to work and flagged him down...
"how do i get in here?"
"do you have a car?"
"no."
"well, why do you want to get into here?"
"i have a nexus interview."
"why do you want a nexus card if you don't have a car?"
"so i can get across the border. i'm from canada..."
"you're from canada? how did you get across the border?"
"the tunnel."
"and how did you get here?"
"i walked."
*awkward pause*
"well, you can't get in here without a car. you're going to have to call a cab."
ok, so here's the thing: i can see the enrollment centre through the fence. it's a few hundred yards, at most. and, yet i need to call a cab to transport me those few hundred yards? yes, i do: this is what the cop is trying to tell me. but, i'm not about to call a cab, so i keep walking.
eventually, i get to a cross street with a big sign
MICHIGAN WELCOME CENTER* --->
*note yankee spelling.
well, that sounds like a good thing to try.
hours:
9 am - 4 pm
it's like 7:30...
so, i look up the road and notice it runs into customs. i'm thinking "maybe there's a phone in there". customer service is closed, and there's no barriers so i just keep walking, until a border cop yells at me:
"WOAH. WOAH. YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"
well, i'm looking for a phone. is there one in that building?
"PLEASE STEP TO THE SIDE AND EMPTY YOUR POCKETS."
ok.
so, i pull out some pieces of paper, keys, a few dollars...
"who do you want to phone?"
"i'm trying to get in contact with the nexus office."
"how did you get in here?"
"i just walked in. there's no barriers or anything."
"do you have a car?"
"no."
"why do you want a nexus card if you don't have a car?"
"well, i'm from canada and..."
"you're from canada? how did you get across the border without a car?"
"i took the tunnel."
"what? how did you get here?"
"i walked"
*awkward pause*
another officer walks over....
"this person just strolled in here, can you believe that."
"where are you going?"
"i'm looking for nexus."
"do you have a car?"
"no."
"why do you want a nexus card if you don't have a car?"
i laughed out loud at this point.
"because i'm from canada and..."
"wait. how did you get across the border?"
"i took the tunnel."
"and they let you in without documents?"
"well, i have this nexus document. i'm here for a defined purpose."
"pfft. anybody could print that off. do you have any drugs on you?"
"what? no..."
"yeah. right. step into the office, please"
so, i walk into the office...
he takes my id and starts running it through the system, asks me all kinds of absurd questions, accuses me repeatedly of living in collingwood and having a record of escaping the custody of an officer, visibly shatters a blood vessel in his forehead when i provide "jessica" as an alternate name and eventually gives up.
"go back to the michigan welcome center and call a cab from there."
again with the cab. they were really serious about this.
i did walk back to the welcome center, but i was planning on calling the enrollment centre, not the cab. it's now barely 8:00, so i have an hour to wait, and wait an hour i did.
the cop drives by about 8:30...
"listen, i knew this was going to be a problem, but i'm pretty sure the person i initially talked to said they'd give me a lift. the thing is i think they meant from canada, and i couldn't get a hold of anybody to provide instructions, so here i am."
he seems to have softened up a bit, after realizing i'm both harmless and frustrated. the absurdity of the situation actually seems to have become clear to him. but...
"i'd drive you down there myself, but then i have to pat you down, which means i need a female officer present and there aren't any."
"i can't waive that?"
(i don't care what gender my doctor is, and i don't care what gender the cop patting me down is)
"no. plus, i'd have to do all kinds of paperwork, and i just don't want to."
ah, yes. a lazy cop. gee, whudda thunk that possible, huh?
"but, i'll call you a cab if you want."
there's no irony in any of this.
i refuse the offer, and suggest i'll call the place when the welcome center opens.
this is where i got a break, and i have to say it's every bit as surreal as the rest of this. the place opens at 9:00, i use the bathroom, and then ask if there's a pay phone...
there isn't, but he offers the office phone, depending on who i'm calling.
i'm calling nexus, because i'm on foot and need to find out how i'm going to get in there.
apparently, this kind fellow has been working at the michigan welcome center for years and years, and given out instructions on how to get into the nexus office hundreds of times, but has never been in there himself. he's been wondering the whole time if his directions are even accurate, and he wants to know what it looks like inside the complex.
so, he offers to drive me in.
and i graciously accept.
he takes me back along the side street i came in at, past the entrance the first border cop went in, back under the bridge and around through a gated area. i am now finally at the nexus enrollment area. i thank the kind fellow and that is that.
but, the border guards are concerned about how i'm going to exit the complex.
"i guess i'll call a cab."
nobody else got the sarcasm. i was actually planning on asking somebody for a lift to the other side of the fence.
so, the interview goes well. the interviewer was a little older, and i seemed to convince him i'm a good kid. which is what i needed to do.
i got the marijuana question, i was honest, and he overlooked it. they can be very strict about that. but, the thing should get here in 7-10 days.
at the end of it, he asks me if i have a phone. i don't carry a phone. so, he picks up the phone and starts dialing the number for a cab for me...
"listen. if you call me a cab, i'm just going to ask that they drop me on the other side of the fence and walk back to the tunnel. so, why don't you just let me ask somebody for a lift out?"
and, finally, i got some fucking logic from somebody.
"no. we'll just escort you out."
a few minutes later, a truck pulls up with a border cop in it.
"are you here to escort me out?"
"yes."
so, i reach for the door....
"no. i'm not driving you. you're going to walk."
at first, he tries to lead me to the exit to the ambassador bridge.
"canada is that way, but where's your car?"
"i don't have a car."
"why do you want a nexus card if you don't have a car?"
i was on the brink of being a smartass, but managed to restrain myself.
"so i can get across under the tunnel. i just need to get to fort street."
"well, how are you going to get over the bridge?"
"no, i want to walk to the tunnel."
"walk...to...the....tunnel?"
at this point, i understand that every single one of the awkward pauses was shock that i'd walk that far. remarkable.
"yeah."
"well, follow the truck around the building and meet me at the crossing."
i did this, and we walked to the gate that first border cop went through. then i was out the side street and back up fort towards the tunnel...
without having to call a cab.
this is your tax dollars at work protecting you from terrorism.
but, that doesn't mean this wasn't a pain in the ass. i've ranted about this here quite a bit over the last year. it's only fitting that the last section of it was off the wall ridiculous...
getting across the actual border was not a problem. i just showed them my letter, and he let me through. but, he chuckled and wished me luck. he knew what was coming...
the walk up fort street at around 7 am was purposefully brisk; i was admittedly a little uncomfortable. but, the more i walked, the more it just reminded me of montreal. yes: detroit is full of decaying bridges, falling apart buildings, abandoned industrial centres, smoldering sewers and people sleeping on the street. but, i didn't feel threatened so much as i felt a level of empathy. how'd it get that bad, anyways?
the other thing that made me relax a little was a friendly retriever that ran over across a field to say good morning. it's funny how goldens are basically the universal stress reliever.
it was about twenty minutes to the bridge, which is a short walk for me.
once i got there, though, i wasn't sure how to proceed. i tried going under the bridge first. this is the first point that the smog got to me: i nearly heaved, and had to sit down. first attempt at directions was a hotel that looked like something out of a stephen king movie...
"do you know if i can get in some kind of plaza around the bridge?"
"no."
"does that pay phone work?"
*laughs* "no."
"do you know if there's a phone around here?"
"there's no gas stations for a good ways in either direction."
"well, thanks, then."
so, i went back under the bridge again...
there was a side street running along the complex (and it was a complex. it looked like a prison.) that i decided to take a walk up, and it took me into a nicer street full of very old churches and quaint, if dilapidated houses. three houses in a row had angry, barking, unchained rottweilers that could have easily hopped their four foot tall enclosures should they have decided to. it's a problem in windsor, too. cheaper than a security system, i guess.
and apparently very necessary.
i bumped into a border cop on his way to work and flagged him down...
"how do i get in here?"
"do you have a car?"
"no."
"well, why do you want to get into here?"
"i have a nexus interview."
"why do you want a nexus card if you don't have a car?"
"so i can get across the border. i'm from canada..."
"you're from canada? how did you get across the border?"
"the tunnel."
"and how did you get here?"
"i walked."
*awkward pause*
"well, you can't get in here without a car. you're going to have to call a cab."
ok, so here's the thing: i can see the enrollment centre through the fence. it's a few hundred yards, at most. and, yet i need to call a cab to transport me those few hundred yards? yes, i do: this is what the cop is trying to tell me. but, i'm not about to call a cab, so i keep walking.
eventually, i get to a cross street with a big sign
MICHIGAN WELCOME CENTER* --->
*note yankee spelling.
well, that sounds like a good thing to try.
hours:
9 am - 4 pm
it's like 7:30...
so, i look up the road and notice it runs into customs. i'm thinking "maybe there's a phone in there". customer service is closed, and there's no barriers so i just keep walking, until a border cop yells at me:
"WOAH. WOAH. YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"
well, i'm looking for a phone. is there one in that building?
"PLEASE STEP TO THE SIDE AND EMPTY YOUR POCKETS."
ok.
so, i pull out some pieces of paper, keys, a few dollars...
"who do you want to phone?"
"i'm trying to get in contact with the nexus office."
"how did you get in here?"
"i just walked in. there's no barriers or anything."
"do you have a car?"
"no."
"why do you want a nexus card if you don't have a car?"
"well, i'm from canada and..."
"you're from canada? how did you get across the border without a car?"
"i took the tunnel."
"what? how did you get here?"
"i walked"
*awkward pause*
another officer walks over....
"this person just strolled in here, can you believe that."
"where are you going?"
"i'm looking for nexus."
"do you have a car?"
"no."
"why do you want a nexus card if you don't have a car?"
i laughed out loud at this point.
"because i'm from canada and..."
"wait. how did you get across the border?"
"i took the tunnel."
"and they let you in without documents?"
"well, i have this nexus document. i'm here for a defined purpose."
"pfft. anybody could print that off. do you have any drugs on you?"
"what? no..."
"yeah. right. step into the office, please"
so, i walk into the office...
he takes my id and starts running it through the system, asks me all kinds of absurd questions, accuses me repeatedly of living in collingwood and having a record of escaping the custody of an officer, visibly shatters a blood vessel in his forehead when i provide "jessica" as an alternate name and eventually gives up.
"go back to the michigan welcome center and call a cab from there."
again with the cab. they were really serious about this.
i did walk back to the welcome center, but i was planning on calling the enrollment centre, not the cab. it's now barely 8:00, so i have an hour to wait, and wait an hour i did.
the cop drives by about 8:30...
"listen, i knew this was going to be a problem, but i'm pretty sure the person i initially talked to said they'd give me a lift. the thing is i think they meant from canada, and i couldn't get a hold of anybody to provide instructions, so here i am."
he seems to have softened up a bit, after realizing i'm both harmless and frustrated. the absurdity of the situation actually seems to have become clear to him. but...
"i'd drive you down there myself, but then i have to pat you down, which means i need a female officer present and there aren't any."
"i can't waive that?"
(i don't care what gender my doctor is, and i don't care what gender the cop patting me down is)
"no. plus, i'd have to do all kinds of paperwork, and i just don't want to."
ah, yes. a lazy cop. gee, whudda thunk that possible, huh?
"but, i'll call you a cab if you want."
there's no irony in any of this.
i refuse the offer, and suggest i'll call the place when the welcome center opens.
this is where i got a break, and i have to say it's every bit as surreal as the rest of this. the place opens at 9:00, i use the bathroom, and then ask if there's a pay phone...
there isn't, but he offers the office phone, depending on who i'm calling.
i'm calling nexus, because i'm on foot and need to find out how i'm going to get in there.
apparently, this kind fellow has been working at the michigan welcome center for years and years, and given out instructions on how to get into the nexus office hundreds of times, but has never been in there himself. he's been wondering the whole time if his directions are even accurate, and he wants to know what it looks like inside the complex.
so, he offers to drive me in.
and i graciously accept.
he takes me back along the side street i came in at, past the entrance the first border cop went in, back under the bridge and around through a gated area. i am now finally at the nexus enrollment area. i thank the kind fellow and that is that.
but, the border guards are concerned about how i'm going to exit the complex.
"i guess i'll call a cab."
nobody else got the sarcasm. i was actually planning on asking somebody for a lift to the other side of the fence.
so, the interview goes well. the interviewer was a little older, and i seemed to convince him i'm a good kid. which is what i needed to do.
i got the marijuana question, i was honest, and he overlooked it. they can be very strict about that. but, the thing should get here in 7-10 days.
at the end of it, he asks me if i have a phone. i don't carry a phone. so, he picks up the phone and starts dialing the number for a cab for me...
"listen. if you call me a cab, i'm just going to ask that they drop me on the other side of the fence and walk back to the tunnel. so, why don't you just let me ask somebody for a lift out?"
and, finally, i got some fucking logic from somebody.
"no. we'll just escort you out."
a few minutes later, a truck pulls up with a border cop in it.
"are you here to escort me out?"
"yes."
so, i reach for the door....
"no. i'm not driving you. you're going to walk."
at first, he tries to lead me to the exit to the ambassador bridge.
"canada is that way, but where's your car?"
"i don't have a car."
"why do you want a nexus card if you don't have a car?"
i was on the brink of being a smartass, but managed to restrain myself.
"so i can get across under the tunnel. i just need to get to fort street."
"well, how are you going to get over the bridge?"
"no, i want to walk to the tunnel."
"walk...to...the....tunnel?"
at this point, i understand that every single one of the awkward pauses was shock that i'd walk that far. remarkable.
"yeah."
"well, follow the truck around the building and meet me at the crossing."
i did this, and we walked to the gate that first border cop went through. then i was out the side street and back up fort towards the tunnel...
without having to call a cab.
this is your tax dollars at work protecting you from terrorism.
so, i took a google tour up fort street, which is where i'm headed this morning.
it's pretty run down, but it's an industrial area so i'm not really walking through the 'hood. and there's only been one shooting in the vicinity this year.
there's been two on my block in windsor. yeah. well, it's perspective.
i'll be fine...
i'll point out i *am* wearing $5 shoes and a stained white tshirt.
it's less about wanting to keep the shoes and more about not projecting wealth.
not that i have any wealth, of course. but shit is relative.
it's pretty run down, but it's an industrial area so i'm not really walking through the 'hood. and there's only been one shooting in the vicinity this year.
there's been two on my block in windsor. yeah. well, it's perspective.
i'll be fine...
i'll point out i *am* wearing $5 shoes and a stained white tshirt.
it's less about wanting to keep the shoes and more about not projecting wealth.
not that i have any wealth, of course. but shit is relative.
uploading the time machine to the scratchpad
and, now i'm mulling if i want guitars at all in the end part...
i think i want one. maybe two. probably not three, unless it comes out at me.
this is consequently close to a final mix.
http://googledrive.com/host/0B5JfVE9XTZikMS1zek9ER0xSU1E/scratchpad/
i think i want one. maybe two. probably not three, unless it comes out at me.
this is consequently close to a final mix.
http://googledrive.com/host/0B5JfVE9XTZikMS1zek9ER0xSU1E/scratchpad/
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
see, in order to get across the border, i need a nexus card. but, in order to get the nexus card, i need to get across the border. it would be a simple exercise if the enrolment centre was in an accessible location, but it's located directly underneath a bridge that i cannot cross. (that sounds poetic, but i can't cross because i don't have a vehicle, and they do not allow pedestrian crossing, and there's no public transportation, and it's almost impossible to find a taxi cab driver both willing and able to cross). so, the only option i can conceive of is to try and cross somewhere else, and hope they let me walk, or escort me to the centre and back. but i'm not really hopeful either is a possibility...
i will say that when i get to the border, i'm certain that i'll understand what my actual options are. i'm just a little fearful that none of them are going to be realistic.
but, logically, is there really much of a difference between letting me drive over a bridge to the center and letting me walk over? i'm clearing customs and being allowed to move from customs to the centre on my own either way, right? i may be freaking out over a perception of the location of the office to the bridge, rather than anything rational that the border guards can actually interpret, one way or the other.
if my plan *does* work, i'm basically going to be walking through detroit at 6:00 am. well, i'm going to end up doing that relatively frequently anyways. my experience with walking through unsafe neighbourhoods has mostly been that thugs go after thugs and so long as one does not project wealth (meaning, it's not a good idea to pull out a roll of hundred dollar bills....as though i have any, right...), there's really little risk in these supposed high risk neighbourhoods.
and, for me, in the end, i'm on their side. i've had my share of conversations with thugs that are probably thinking some nasty shit in the back of their mind, but i tend to convince 'em i'm cool - and not any better off than they are. despite being white and well spoken....
the only other thing i can think of is trying to hitch over the bridge. if that's my only option, that's my only option. i'll find out.
i don't want to come off some drug war narc, i'm really not, but i know that the big problem is not poverty but drugs.
and not any drugs. it's the nasty ones. coke. meth. there's no discussion there, no attempt to size me up - it's just a possible income source to exploit to get high.
i know to stay on the main roads.
and 6:00-7:00 am is not 3:00 am, either.
i'll be fine...
like, i've never seen or heard of a fight in any place in any city in any downtown that wasn't ultimately about cocaine. even when it's about sex, it's really about cocaine...
so...
hey, kids.
i'm not going to tell you not to do drugs. drugs can be fun, sometimes!
but cocaine is baaaaaaad.
baaaaaaaad.
baaaaa.
it IS though. don't do coke...
i will say that when i get to the border, i'm certain that i'll understand what my actual options are. i'm just a little fearful that none of them are going to be realistic.
but, logically, is there really much of a difference between letting me drive over a bridge to the center and letting me walk over? i'm clearing customs and being allowed to move from customs to the centre on my own either way, right? i may be freaking out over a perception of the location of the office to the bridge, rather than anything rational that the border guards can actually interpret, one way or the other.
if my plan *does* work, i'm basically going to be walking through detroit at 6:00 am. well, i'm going to end up doing that relatively frequently anyways. my experience with walking through unsafe neighbourhoods has mostly been that thugs go after thugs and so long as one does not project wealth (meaning, it's not a good idea to pull out a roll of hundred dollar bills....as though i have any, right...), there's really little risk in these supposed high risk neighbourhoods.
and, for me, in the end, i'm on their side. i've had my share of conversations with thugs that are probably thinking some nasty shit in the back of their mind, but i tend to convince 'em i'm cool - and not any better off than they are. despite being white and well spoken....
the only other thing i can think of is trying to hitch over the bridge. if that's my only option, that's my only option. i'll find out.
i don't want to come off some drug war narc, i'm really not, but i know that the big problem is not poverty but drugs.
and not any drugs. it's the nasty ones. coke. meth. there's no discussion there, no attempt to size me up - it's just a possible income source to exploit to get high.
i know to stay on the main roads.
and 6:00-7:00 am is not 3:00 am, either.
i'll be fine...
like, i've never seen or heard of a fight in any place in any city in any downtown that wasn't ultimately about cocaine. even when it's about sex, it's really about cocaine...
so...
hey, kids.
i'm not going to tell you not to do drugs. drugs can be fun, sometimes!
but cocaine is baaaaaaad.
baaaaaaaad.
baaaaa.
it IS though. don't do coke...
uploading the wonderful noise to youtube
the track switches over, tonight. in the alter-reality, it's now nov 17, 1996.
traffic was up this week, so schizoid did well, even though it was only up the one week. it will cycle back in a little later...
========
i suppose this is my first real "noise" construction. i was going for a sort of an "obliviously insane" feel. like, imagine bach just losing his mind one day down at the cathedral. i think i hit it, overall, but the tools i had available to me at the time weren't the best; this could have been more unsettling than it is, if i did have access to better tools (i was thinking that at the time). this was constructed on a 4-track tascam with the aid of a kawaii and a few effects pedals....there were no computers involved...
the "hurricane" part of the noise was constructed by looping little bits of sound over themselves. this is oversimplified, but basically it: i took every cassette i could find and dubbed them all on top of each other. not simultaneously, but in different bits. so, i guess if you had more advanced wave analysis tools you could deconstruct that...
the rest of the noise is multiple tracks of guitar noodling through multiple effects patches, mostly high feedback.
a part of the composition involved fucking with cords and pressing pause while i was mastering it. i was sort of playing with the fantasy/reality split. i wouldn't have been able to articulate that then like i could now, so i'll just sort of let that be. i was thinking in terms of being awoken out of a dream.
please use headphones.
over the next few years, i raided this for samples...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHCzsrJk55M&list=PL3JSjmqp0cbslW9qCBKT_nEcwUt1DY0aN
traffic was up this week, so schizoid did well, even though it was only up the one week. it will cycle back in a little later...
========
i suppose this is my first real "noise" construction. i was going for a sort of an "obliviously insane" feel. like, imagine bach just losing his mind one day down at the cathedral. i think i hit it, overall, but the tools i had available to me at the time weren't the best; this could have been more unsettling than it is, if i did have access to better tools (i was thinking that at the time). this was constructed on a 4-track tascam with the aid of a kawaii and a few effects pedals....there were no computers involved...
the "hurricane" part of the noise was constructed by looping little bits of sound over themselves. this is oversimplified, but basically it: i took every cassette i could find and dubbed them all on top of each other. not simultaneously, but in different bits. so, i guess if you had more advanced wave analysis tools you could deconstruct that...
the rest of the noise is multiple tracks of guitar noodling through multiple effects patches, mostly high feedback.
a part of the composition involved fucking with cords and pressing pause while i was mastering it. i was sort of playing with the fantasy/reality split. i wouldn't have been able to articulate that then like i could now, so i'll just sort of let that be. i was thinking in terms of being awoken out of a dream.
please use headphones.
over the next few years, i raided this for samples...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHCzsrJk55M&list=PL3JSjmqp0cbslW9qCBKT_nEcwUt1DY0aN
grargh. i still can't get a hold of anybody on the other side of the border. and it turns out booking a taxi is a process of trial and error - most taxi drivers can't or won't drive across the bridge. after all, that's what the tunnel bus is for. and it's going to cost like $40....
catch-22s. gotta love 'em.
i'm just going to show up at the tunnel really early and see what happens. i'm hoping that if they don't let me walk they'll escort me, and if they don't do that they'll let me call the center from detroit, where it's not long distance.
i tried calling two of those numbers from a pay phone.
one was a full mailbox, the other was an automated system. i can't be dropping $5 on dead ends over and over. that $10 is waste enough.
catch-22s. gotta love 'em.
i'm just going to show up at the tunnel really early and see what happens. i'm hoping that if they don't let me walk they'll escort me, and if they don't do that they'll let me call the center from detroit, where it's not long distance.
i tried calling two of those numbers from a pay phone.
one was a full mailbox, the other was an automated system. i can't be dropping $5 on dead ends over and over. that $10 is waste enough.
clearing my head at a math rock show in windsor
i needed to clear my head a little tonight, so i hit a show with a few different spins on what's currently called "math rock". i'm glad i did, as i'm feeling nicely relaxed at the moment.
first up was sly why, which was a valiant (and sometimes successful) attempt to cross hip-hop with chick corea. when it clicked, it was pretty groovy, but i was left with the overall impression that it was a proof of concept that requires quite a bit more work to get to where it needs to be.
the rhythm section was really outstanding in the synthesis. the bassist did a decent jaco, while the drummer effectively spliced breakbeats with fusion drumming. where it fell apart a little was with the vocalist/keyboardist.
it's not that he wasn't a good player - he was. but , the vocals seemed rather superfluous, in the sense that i didn't get much interesting out of it. further, he used the same electric piano sound on every single track, and it got a little monotonous after a while. i mean, chick had limited technology at his availability in the late 60s and early 70s. this guy could make his keyboard do whatever he wants it to by merely connecting it to his phone, y'know? why settle for a single, 40 year old tone?
i wanted to suggest he check out some squarepusher, but i instead just suggested he consider orchestrating the keys a little more. i suspect the thought has already crossed his mind, as he mostly agreed with me.
with that in mind, these kids have the potential to do something special, if the vocalist also decides to step back a little from the mundane topics explored in modern commercial hip-hop. i'd keep an eye on this space. i know i will.
toasted plastic, which i'm not repeating the silly chillwave anti-phonetic styling on, was up next and they presented a somewhat generic (but entirely competent) rendition of the emo/math thing that's been floating around since roughly 2000. if there's something worth noting here, it's that the drummer is quite talented. he was able to push through some otherwise predictably unpredictable (if you know math, you get that) songwriting and entirely generic singing.
on the other hand, sometimes you just want to stand in front of some amps and get blown over by them. it's kind of why i left the house tonight, actually.
it's nothing special, but it's loud and melodic and just a little bit complex and it's consequently worth cover if you're looking for it.
what i wanted tonight was just to sit back and have a beer and relax, and it was this act that i thought would be most conducive to that atmosphere. it was a lot of tapping on the ol' ibanez, with some relaxed drumming. again: not a lot to talk about, in terms of originality. but if you like the kind of passive jazz/post/math that's been floating around on bandcamp the last ten years or so, and you want a beer, it's worth the $5.
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2014/07/15.html
first up was sly why, which was a valiant (and sometimes successful) attempt to cross hip-hop with chick corea. when it clicked, it was pretty groovy, but i was left with the overall impression that it was a proof of concept that requires quite a bit more work to get to where it needs to be.
the rhythm section was really outstanding in the synthesis. the bassist did a decent jaco, while the drummer effectively spliced breakbeats with fusion drumming. where it fell apart a little was with the vocalist/keyboardist.
it's not that he wasn't a good player - he was. but , the vocals seemed rather superfluous, in the sense that i didn't get much interesting out of it. further, he used the same electric piano sound on every single track, and it got a little monotonous after a while. i mean, chick had limited technology at his availability in the late 60s and early 70s. this guy could make his keyboard do whatever he wants it to by merely connecting it to his phone, y'know? why settle for a single, 40 year old tone?
i wanted to suggest he check out some squarepusher, but i instead just suggested he consider orchestrating the keys a little more. i suspect the thought has already crossed his mind, as he mostly agreed with me.
with that in mind, these kids have the potential to do something special, if the vocalist also decides to step back a little from the mundane topics explored in modern commercial hip-hop. i'd keep an eye on this space. i know i will.
toasted plastic, which i'm not repeating the silly chillwave anti-phonetic styling on, was up next and they presented a somewhat generic (but entirely competent) rendition of the emo/math thing that's been floating around since roughly 2000. if there's something worth noting here, it's that the drummer is quite talented. he was able to push through some otherwise predictably unpredictable (if you know math, you get that) songwriting and entirely generic singing.
on the other hand, sometimes you just want to stand in front of some amps and get blown over by them. it's kind of why i left the house tonight, actually.
it's nothing special, but it's loud and melodic and just a little bit complex and it's consequently worth cover if you're looking for it.
what i wanted tonight was just to sit back and have a beer and relax, and it was this act that i thought would be most conducive to that atmosphere. it was a lot of tapping on the ol' ibanez, with some relaxed drumming. again: not a lot to talk about, in terms of originality. but if you like the kind of passive jazz/post/math that's been floating around on bandcamp the last ten years or so, and you want a beer, it's worth the $5.
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2014/07/15.html
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
so, i've got my border pass interview on thursday and i have to admit
i don't know how i'm going to get over that bridge to the enrollment
centre. i've been sending out emails and calling people all month, and
nobody has a good answer for me.
the thing is that the bridge is closed to pedestrian traffic. somehow, the bridge became privately owned, which makes the owner liable. there were some suicides in the 70s from jumpers, and the owner had to pay out, and it's been closed to pedestrians and bicyclists ever since. i'm going to avoid ranting about property rights, other than to note that none of the governments in the region at any of the levels have had anything but problems with the guy. i mean, he has a monopoly on cross-border traffic that can't fit through the tunnel, which is virtually all trucks amongst other things, and he hasn't really been responsible about it....
so, they're building a publicly owned bridge in reaction, but it won't be done until like 2020. i should be able to take my bike on that one, but it's also way out of the way. you'd have to think the operator will make some changes when he gets some competition. until then, i simply can't walk over the bridge.
the tunnel is also closed to pedestrians and cyclists because it doesn't have a sufficient walkway, which is a court case i'd probably win if i bothered, but it's a lot of effort i don't really have to expend. it does have tunnel bus service, which is what i'd have to use to get across the river when i want to. most of the places i'd want to get to are then within walking distance up woodward avenue, but i may want to go to pontiac from time to time and i'd have to take the bus for that. if i find myself doing that often, i'll probably get a worthless bicycle and lock it somewhere near the tunnel in detroit. i mean, they won't let bikes on the bus either, unless they're disassembled into a bag, which is really outrageous. i'd probably want to take one of the tires with me back and forth...
so, the problem is that i'm going to show up at the border crossing on thursday morning and not know how to get across. i'm HOPING the border guards will just drive me over, but i'd like to get some verification of that. if i can't, my plan is going to be as follows...
1) i'll show up to the earliest tunnel shuttle across and hope the border people either let me walk to the enrollment centre or escort me there. hopefully, that's worked out before 6:00 am.
2) if i get sent back, i'll have to walk to the bridge and ask them to get me over there somehow.
the instructions that the center provides just assume i'll have a car. in fact, the primary purpose of this exercise seems to be to get my plates on film.
the thing is that the bridge is closed to pedestrian traffic. somehow, the bridge became privately owned, which makes the owner liable. there were some suicides in the 70s from jumpers, and the owner had to pay out, and it's been closed to pedestrians and bicyclists ever since. i'm going to avoid ranting about property rights, other than to note that none of the governments in the region at any of the levels have had anything but problems with the guy. i mean, he has a monopoly on cross-border traffic that can't fit through the tunnel, which is virtually all trucks amongst other things, and he hasn't really been responsible about it....
so, they're building a publicly owned bridge in reaction, but it won't be done until like 2020. i should be able to take my bike on that one, but it's also way out of the way. you'd have to think the operator will make some changes when he gets some competition. until then, i simply can't walk over the bridge.
the tunnel is also closed to pedestrians and cyclists because it doesn't have a sufficient walkway, which is a court case i'd probably win if i bothered, but it's a lot of effort i don't really have to expend. it does have tunnel bus service, which is what i'd have to use to get across the river when i want to. most of the places i'd want to get to are then within walking distance up woodward avenue, but i may want to go to pontiac from time to time and i'd have to take the bus for that. if i find myself doing that often, i'll probably get a worthless bicycle and lock it somewhere near the tunnel in detroit. i mean, they won't let bikes on the bus either, unless they're disassembled into a bag, which is really outrageous. i'd probably want to take one of the tires with me back and forth...
so, the problem is that i'm going to show up at the border crossing on thursday morning and not know how to get across. i'm HOPING the border guards will just drive me over, but i'd like to get some verification of that. if i can't, my plan is going to be as follows...
1) i'll show up to the earliest tunnel shuttle across and hope the border people either let me walk to the enrollment centre or escort me there. hopefully, that's worked out before 6:00 am.
2) if i get sent back, i'll have to walk to the bridge and ask them to get me over there somehow.
the instructions that the center provides just assume i'll have a car. in fact, the primary purpose of this exercise seems to be to get my plates on film.
lost a few days there due to renovations in the unit. it's actually good i didn't dive into this too far, because i need to reflect on this last section a little more. i don't really need yet another looped over blues jam as an appendage to another ambient section. so, i'm going to want to reanalyze it to ensure i'm not repeating myself.
i've been doing this for the last few tracks: planning something elaborate, and then stepping back from it to stress the simplicity a bit more and let the textures come out.
there's going to be a lot of guitars running through this, i've decided on that. but i want to map it more carefully, to ensure it's not as loop-oriented. i made a conscious decision several years ago to try and move away from minimalist music structures; that decision has only become more necessary to maintain relevance since then, as minimalist post-rock has become so saturated and boring. i don't think anything about this section is guilty of the worst characteristics of modern post-rock - not by a large margin. the textures are too electronic, and the loops are too constructed, for that kind of accusation. but i do think that going back to the old tools brought me back to the old world, where i picked all those old crutches back up again.
which is not catastrophic overall. i think there's something to be said for building styles, and mine is pretty idiosyncratic when you break it apart. but i really want to mix this up so that it's a meaningful addition to my discography, rather than just another piece that follows an existing formula. and it's a correction i'd rather make now than five more tracks down the line.
i want to find a way to interpret these old tools in a new way.
for tonight, i'm going to relax a little and check a local show out with a bit of bailey's in the coffee. i'll revisit this when i get home.
https://www.facebook.com/events/1447034165539685
i've been doing this for the last few tracks: planning something elaborate, and then stepping back from it to stress the simplicity a bit more and let the textures come out.
there's going to be a lot of guitars running through this, i've decided on that. but i want to map it more carefully, to ensure it's not as loop-oriented. i made a conscious decision several years ago to try and move away from minimalist music structures; that decision has only become more necessary to maintain relevance since then, as minimalist post-rock has become so saturated and boring. i don't think anything about this section is guilty of the worst characteristics of modern post-rock - not by a large margin. the textures are too electronic, and the loops are too constructed, for that kind of accusation. but i do think that going back to the old tools brought me back to the old world, where i picked all those old crutches back up again.
which is not catastrophic overall. i think there's something to be said for building styles, and mine is pretty idiosyncratic when you break it apart. but i really want to mix this up so that it's a meaningful addition to my discography, rather than just another piece that follows an existing formula. and it's a correction i'd rather make now than five more tracks down the line.
i want to find a way to interpret these old tools in a new way.
for tonight, i'm going to relax a little and check a local show out with a bit of bailey's in the coffee. i'll revisit this when i get home.
https://www.facebook.com/events/1447034165539685
Monday, July 14, 2014
hi again
1) i was thinking you'd drop by to check on the job, but the guys wanted to ask me to tell you that the plaster needs a second or third job. i think it's just cosmetic.
2) i noticed you put some paving stones out in the front. i was going to go get some at the beginning of august (i have a big home depot run planned), but i have to say that's a lot more than i was planning on. i won't touch the stones until you tell me what you want done with them. i was actually thinking that maybe the neighbour might want a little say in it, to be fair about the whole process of ripping down the garden. i *had* asked her not to cover the window, but she did anyways, which is why i just acted. my concern was/is just keeping the window clear; i have no meaningful opinion on the actual landscaping, subject to the practical request. if that's important to her, i have no objection to letting her take control of it - as long as the window stays clear.
3) i'm going to drop the request for the fire inspection because the fire separation to the basement seems to be re-established. just briefly, it seems like the philosophy in the fire code is about risk. there's almost no restrictions on single, detached units because the risk is only to the property owner, and increasing risks for larger and larger buildings because the risk is shared for more and more people. that is, the bigger the property is, the more people the landlord is making risks on behalf of, and the more stringent the requirements. i do feel there's some risk in having the furnace in the kitchen like that, but i don't feel there's any measurable risk down here anymore so i don't feel i have the moral or philosophical right to infringe on risks you decide on for you and your family - that would be characteristic of an overbearing tenant, which i'm trying not to be.
4) i am going to be building some large shelving units down here at the beginning of august (when i make that big home depot run) in the bedroom, living room and a few places in the hall around the kitchen. i want the shelving for books and cds and towels, but they could be used for anything. none of it will be attached to the wall or anything, it will all be free standing, but it's going to be measured and cut to fit the unit so it's going to more or less become a part of the unit. it will be easy enough to remove one day if you have to and/or you want to. but i would be unlikely to take these shelves with me (then again, i think i'm unlikely to move, too). regardless, if you want some influence on that, let me know. right now, i'm just thinking about very simple sealed and unpainted wood units...
5) lastly, i'm not sure if you're aware that the ontario energy board boosted gas prices by 40% on april 1 and that there's some expectation that this will happen a few more times in the next few years. gas is still waaaaaay cheaper than it was even five years ago, but you'd have to expect that's something the gas companies are out to equalize, and there might not be such a dramatic difference in price anymore four or five years from now. it's something to look into further before you switch the rest of the building over. it's a shame that solar is still so prohibitively expensive to install and upkeep, because it can actually generate electricity to *sell* and is the only way to really get off the grid.
j
2) i noticed you put some paving stones out in the front. i was going to go get some at the beginning of august (i have a big home depot run planned), but i have to say that's a lot more than i was planning on. i won't touch the stones until you tell me what you want done with them. i was actually thinking that maybe the neighbour might want a little say in it, to be fair about the whole process of ripping down the garden. i *had* asked her not to cover the window, but she did anyways, which is why i just acted. my concern was/is just keeping the window clear; i have no meaningful opinion on the actual landscaping, subject to the practical request. if that's important to her, i have no objection to letting her take control of it - as long as the window stays clear.
3) i'm going to drop the request for the fire inspection because the fire separation to the basement seems to be re-established. just briefly, it seems like the philosophy in the fire code is about risk. there's almost no restrictions on single, detached units because the risk is only to the property owner, and increasing risks for larger and larger buildings because the risk is shared for more and more people. that is, the bigger the property is, the more people the landlord is making risks on behalf of, and the more stringent the requirements. i do feel there's some risk in having the furnace in the kitchen like that, but i don't feel there's any measurable risk down here anymore so i don't feel i have the moral or philosophical right to infringe on risks you decide on for you and your family - that would be characteristic of an overbearing tenant, which i'm trying not to be.
4) i am going to be building some large shelving units down here at the beginning of august (when i make that big home depot run) in the bedroom, living room and a few places in the hall around the kitchen. i want the shelving for books and cds and towels, but they could be used for anything. none of it will be attached to the wall or anything, it will all be free standing, but it's going to be measured and cut to fit the unit so it's going to more or less become a part of the unit. it will be easy enough to remove one day if you have to and/or you want to. but i would be unlikely to take these shelves with me (then again, i think i'm unlikely to move, too). regardless, if you want some influence on that, let me know. right now, i'm just thinking about very simple sealed and unpainted wood units...
5) lastly, i'm not sure if you're aware that the ontario energy board boosted gas prices by 40% on april 1 and that there's some expectation that this will happen a few more times in the next few years. gas is still waaaaaay cheaper than it was even five years ago, but you'd have to expect that's something the gas companies are out to equalize, and there might not be such a dramatic difference in price anymore four or five years from now. it's something to look into further before you switch the rest of the building over. it's a shame that solar is still so prohibitively expensive to install and upkeep, because it can actually generate electricity to *sell* and is the only way to really get off the grid.
j
yup. hole's getting patched. the logic i provided was entirely accepted.
very relieving. and he actually seems happy i pointed it out to save him headaches down the road.
i also received a verification that the unit is older than 1998, as it was here when he bought it in 1996.
that's useful to know.
Rules relating to rent
(2) Sections 104, 111, 112, 120, 121, 122, 126 to 133, 165 and 167 do not apply with respect to a rental unit if,
(a) it was not occupied for any purpose before June 17, 1998;
section 120 is rent control, reducing rent increases to cpi. units built after 1998 are NOT subject to this legal restriction.
that's a helluva fucking loophole in the law. supposedly, it's to provide "incentives" to build new units which "provides jobs".
this is politician-speak for class warfare.
but i'm safe. was worried, as he mentioned this unit was an add-on...
i had a little talk with him, and i'm not really the problem unit. i mean, i'm not running a/c and so long as the unit is insulated it should hold summer heat deep into the fall.
i didn't have to turn the heat on down here until the polar vortex hit. presuming the winter is nowhere near as cold as last year, i should be the least of his problems.
it's actually the unit on the other side that is costing him.
he admitted to not thinking it through.
we may actually get some better insulation in out of the ordeal.
very relieving. and he actually seems happy i pointed it out to save him headaches down the road.
i also received a verification that the unit is older than 1998, as it was here when he bought it in 1996.
that's useful to know.
Rules relating to rent
(2) Sections 104, 111, 112, 120, 121, 122, 126 to 133, 165 and 167 do not apply with respect to a rental unit if,
(a) it was not occupied for any purpose before June 17, 1998;
section 120 is rent control, reducing rent increases to cpi. units built after 1998 are NOT subject to this legal restriction.
that's a helluva fucking loophole in the law. supposedly, it's to provide "incentives" to build new units which "provides jobs".
this is politician-speak for class warfare.
but i'm safe. was worried, as he mentioned this unit was an add-on...
i had a little talk with him, and i'm not really the problem unit. i mean, i'm not running a/c and so long as the unit is insulated it should hold summer heat deep into the fall.
i didn't have to turn the heat on down here until the polar vortex hit. presuming the winter is nowhere near as cold as last year, i should be the least of his problems.
it's actually the unit on the other side that is costing him.
he admitted to not thinking it through.
we may actually get some better insulation in out of the ordeal.
yeah. i took the switch off and the connection had actually broken in half.
less than a year old.
i think they sell them at the dollar store across the street....
although i should point out it's made in china.
communist? yeah...
i need to relax, i'm really agitated.
the sound collage is coming along well, anyways.
it's supposed to sound like a time portal.
the conceptual basis of the piece was initially just some slowed down guitar chords, and it's turned into something more than it was meant to be, but, hey, do things to the most extreme possible...
less than a year old.
i think they sell them at the dollar store across the street....
although i should point out it's made in china.
communist? yeah...
i need to relax, i'm really agitated.
the sound collage is coming along well, anyways.
it's supposed to sound like a time portal.
the conceptual basis of the piece was initially just some slowed down guitar chords, and it's turned into something more than it was meant to be, but, hey, do things to the most extreme possible...
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