i'm stoned.
i'm going to fall asleep.....
Monday, April 30, 2018
Sunday, April 29, 2018
"so why don't you just be an effiminate male?"
well, to a certain extent, i guess i am, right?
at the end of the day, i don't care whether you want to call me a trans-female or a total fag. these are just labels. boxes. and, i don't really see why you'd treat me any differently if you thought i was merely a complete fag, rather than a woman.
so, you can ask me: what's the difference?
well, i dunno. you're the one that's insisting on it, not me.
well, to a certain extent, i guess i am, right?
at the end of the day, i don't care whether you want to call me a trans-female or a total fag. these are just labels. boxes. and, i don't really see why you'd treat me any differently if you thought i was merely a complete fag, rather than a woman.
so, you can ask me: what's the difference?
well, i dunno. you're the one that's insisting on it, not me.
so, i'm half expecting these idiots to do something stupid tonight.
let it be written here that i might have overheard a threat to knock the door down.
see, the thing is that i'm not sure what i heard, and i didn't see anybody say it. if i had, i'd be contacting the police.
i have no patience for macho bullshit, and i don't suffer stupidity at all.
but, let it be known that i am not a bleeding heart, and that i am not afraid to seriously hurt anybody willing to enter my apartment using force. in fact, i'm likely to kill that person with my bare hands, rip out their heart with my teeth and shit on their remains.
you only think i'm exaggerating.
let it be written here that i might have overheard a threat to knock the door down.
see, the thing is that i'm not sure what i heard, and i didn't see anybody say it. if i had, i'd be contacting the police.
i have no patience for macho bullshit, and i don't suffer stupidity at all.
but, let it be known that i am not a bleeding heart, and that i am not afraid to seriously hurt anybody willing to enter my apartment using force. in fact, i'm likely to kill that person with my bare hands, rip out their heart with my teeth and shit on their remains.
you only think i'm exaggerating.
Saturday, April 28, 2018
i really never saw myself as a smoker. i mean, i acknowledged i was.
but, i never intended to start smoking habitually, and i was basically
in the process of quitting from the time i realized i was.
i started smoking to stay awake because i was working and going to school at the same time. it was either nicotine or cocaine. i think i picked the better option.
and, it really does keep you awake and alert. it's the best stimulant there is. really.
so, how do you quit smoking when you have exams next week? you can't; you need to study, so you need to stay awake, so you need to smoke.
and, then how do you quit when you're working two jobs? or...
i would routinely quit for three-four weeks at a time, over and over again. so, it's really more accurate for me to say something like that i was a smoker around 70% of the time, between 2002-2016 - and a non-smoker about 30% of the time.
i never tried to rationalize it; i knew it was unhealthy, but i'd always quit next week. and, i was never happy about it, but i had to find some way to stay awake, whether i liked it or not.
whenever i had a down period, i'd get most of the way there. but, as soon as i had anything substantive to do, the smoking would start up again.
so, nobody should be surprised by how militant i'm being about this: even when i smoked, i was very anti-smoking, as weird as that sounds.
i started smoking to stay awake because i was working and going to school at the same time. it was either nicotine or cocaine. i think i picked the better option.
and, it really does keep you awake and alert. it's the best stimulant there is. really.
so, how do you quit smoking when you have exams next week? you can't; you need to study, so you need to stay awake, so you need to smoke.
and, then how do you quit when you're working two jobs? or...
i would routinely quit for three-four weeks at a time, over and over again. so, it's really more accurate for me to say something like that i was a smoker around 70% of the time, between 2002-2016 - and a non-smoker about 30% of the time.
i never tried to rationalize it; i knew it was unhealthy, but i'd always quit next week. and, i was never happy about it, but i had to find some way to stay awake, whether i liked it or not.
whenever i had a down period, i'd get most of the way there. but, as soon as i had anything substantive to do, the smoking would start up again.
so, nobody should be surprised by how militant i'm being about this: even when i smoked, i was very anti-smoking, as weird as that sounds.
if i end up going to court with this, all parties should expect an affidavit from me, declaring the following:
1) i finally definitively quit smoking cigarettes as a habit at the beginning of 2016, after smoking habitually from 2002-2016, with many attempts to quit over the period.
2) i have never been a habitual marijuana smoker.
3) i have never had a medical marijuana card.
4) as a rule, i have never smoked inside of any dwelling that i've inhabited; i've always smoked outside. i have not smoked anything - at all - inside of the apartment in question.
5) while i may have relapsed a couple of times due to overwhelming stress, including at the end of 2017, because quitting smoking is hard, those relapses have been short-lived and are not evidence of hidden habits. all relapses have been carried out exclusively outside of the dwelling in question.
6) i acknowledge that i may continue to smoke casually when i'm drinking, meaning when i'm at the bar. this is infrequent and likewise does not suggest habitual use - it is behaviour relegated strictly to bar patios and other places of alcohol consumption.
those are the facts.
you don't have to like them.
but please stop disputing them.
1) i finally definitively quit smoking cigarettes as a habit at the beginning of 2016, after smoking habitually from 2002-2016, with many attempts to quit over the period.
2) i have never been a habitual marijuana smoker.
3) i have never had a medical marijuana card.
4) as a rule, i have never smoked inside of any dwelling that i've inhabited; i've always smoked outside. i have not smoked anything - at all - inside of the apartment in question.
5) while i may have relapsed a couple of times due to overwhelming stress, including at the end of 2017, because quitting smoking is hard, those relapses have been short-lived and are not evidence of hidden habits. all relapses have been carried out exclusively outside of the dwelling in question.
6) i acknowledge that i may continue to smoke casually when i'm drinking, meaning when i'm at the bar. this is infrequent and likewise does not suggest habitual use - it is behaviour relegated strictly to bar patios and other places of alcohol consumption.
those are the facts.
you don't have to like them.
but please stop disputing them.
clearly, i crashed.
i need to get some work done today.
it's clear that she's still smoking inside, but less clear whether she's leaving or not. i woke up to an overhang of tobacco smoke, and have noticed some minor plumes. but, i continue to hear a lot of banging downstairs.
i guess if she's leaving then she'll want to be out by the first.
and, i'll wait until the first before i start making daily complaints. it's just going to be something like:
"yeah. she's still smoking. *click*."
again: you can't just order an addict to stop.
i need to get some work done today.
it's clear that she's still smoking inside, but less clear whether she's leaving or not. i woke up to an overhang of tobacco smoke, and have noticed some minor plumes. but, i continue to hear a lot of banging downstairs.
i guess if she's leaving then she'll want to be out by the first.
and, i'll wait until the first before i start making daily complaints. it's just going to be something like:
"yeah. she's still smoking. *click*."
again: you can't just order an addict to stop.
unfortunately, when your apartment constantly smells like drugs and smoke, it's hard to see the value in things like laundry and showering because everything smells bad again in minutes, anyways.
i'm going to have to redo the last load i did.
but i'm coming up against my own stench, right now.
and i actually think that's a good sign - if i can smell myself over the background radiation.
i'm going to have to redo the last load i did.
but i'm coming up against my own stench, right now.
and i actually think that's a good sign - if i can smell myself over the background radiation.
i've been sitting here for hours, unsure if i'm going to fall asleep or not.
either i'll get to work or i'll fall asleep.
i think that when i do crash, i'll be happy to get something a little less broken.
the air is better tonight, but we'll see how long that lasts. i'm even considering showering...
either i'll get to work or i'll fall asleep.
i think that when i do crash, i'll be happy to get something a little less broken.
the air is better tonight, but we'll see how long that lasts. i'm even considering showering...
Friday, April 27, 2018
yeah, i got the regular estrace and paid the difference.
the physical is on monday.
the blood test will be some time next week.
and, we can talk about dosages and medication decisions when the results come back, in mid-may.
i could very well switch, in the end; this is just not the right time to play with this.
the physical is on monday.
the blood test will be some time next week.
and, we can talk about dosages and medication decisions when the results come back, in mid-may.
i could very well switch, in the end; this is just not the right time to play with this.
i'm apprehensive about this.
since i had my dosage increased a little over two years ago, i haven't felt as though my estrogen levels were low.
and, i feel that this should be measured empirically, rather than guessed at.
i will have a blood test this upcoming week; this is the wrong time for this experiment. it's just going to fuck up the test results.
so, i'm going to take the pills back and ask for the estrace, and then act as though i missed a dose.
since i had my dosage increased a little over two years ago, i haven't felt as though my estrogen levels were low.
and, i feel that this should be measured empirically, rather than guessed at.
i will have a blood test this upcoming week; this is the wrong time for this experiment. it's just going to fuck up the test results.
so, i'm going to take the pills back and ask for the estrace, and then act as though i missed a dose.
wait.
this isn't a generic estrace, it's a hemihydrate.
the difference appears to be that the regular estrace needs to go through your liver, whereas the hemi-hydrate is just estrogen surrounded by water, and so absorbs on contact. but, if you take estrogen like this, you get a spike of estrogen and then a fall - which is likely to lead to mood swings. and, i kind of don't like the idea of taking estrogen like a drug. i want constant and stable levels, not to get high on hormones and then crash.
i know that i don't want to do this through absorption - i want my liver to regulate it - but i don't know if it's going to be as effective, taken orally. logic kind of tells me that it's going to get ruined in my stomach, if it's just estrogen surrounded by water.
i have an appointment on monday...
but, let's see what i can learn about this in the short run.
this isn't a generic estrace, it's a hemihydrate.
the difference appears to be that the regular estrace needs to go through your liver, whereas the hemi-hydrate is just estrogen surrounded by water, and so absorbs on contact. but, if you take estrogen like this, you get a spike of estrogen and then a fall - which is likely to lead to mood swings. and, i kind of don't like the idea of taking estrogen like a drug. i want constant and stable levels, not to get high on hormones and then crash.
i know that i don't want to do this through absorption - i want my liver to regulate it - but i don't know if it's going to be as effective, taken orally. logic kind of tells me that it's going to get ruined in my stomach, if it's just estrogen surrounded by water.
i have an appointment on monday...
but, let's see what i can learn about this in the short run.
hey, here's some good news - new ownership at the local shopper's has got my pills down in cost by ~25%.
they claim it's due to moving to generics.
here's the thing: i knew generics were less expensive the whole time, and i actually shopped around a few years ago, but everybody gave me the same price. the price went up a lot at one point at the beginning of 2016, and the answer i got had to do with the brand switching. i explicitly asked for generics, and they told me something about distributors. now, the pharmacist randomly switches me back to generics and is claiming he always had generics.
?
$20+/month over two years adds up to around $500. i should probably be kind of irked.
and, i know that the previous management didn't like the fact that she couldn't refuse me service, or set her own prices to get me out of the store. she seemed to be both religious + very pro-market. but, she bought a chain store in canada, inheriting two layers of strict rules. she really didn't have the right to discriminate against me, and nobody was going to let her do it - not even her employees.
i'm going to guess that they probably did run out of generics at some point two years ago, and they didn't switch me back when the generics came back in. the new management noticed the problem, and fixed it.
so, thanks. i guess.
i don't have an argument for a claim, because i received what i paid for. i don't think the store made anything from it - it was more about enforcing a value system than making a profit.
*shrug*.
let's just look forwards...
they claim it's due to moving to generics.
here's the thing: i knew generics were less expensive the whole time, and i actually shopped around a few years ago, but everybody gave me the same price. the price went up a lot at one point at the beginning of 2016, and the answer i got had to do with the brand switching. i explicitly asked for generics, and they told me something about distributors. now, the pharmacist randomly switches me back to generics and is claiming he always had generics.
?
$20+/month over two years adds up to around $500. i should probably be kind of irked.
and, i know that the previous management didn't like the fact that she couldn't refuse me service, or set her own prices to get me out of the store. she seemed to be both religious + very pro-market. but, she bought a chain store in canada, inheriting two layers of strict rules. she really didn't have the right to discriminate against me, and nobody was going to let her do it - not even her employees.
i'm going to guess that they probably did run out of generics at some point two years ago, and they didn't switch me back when the generics came back in. the new management noticed the problem, and fixed it.
so, thanks. i guess.
i don't have an argument for a claim, because i received what i paid for. i don't think the store made anything from it - it was more about enforcing a value system than making a profit.
*shrug*.
let's just look forwards...
like, she seems to have reacted to the situation this afternoon by turning the cure up really loud and going in her room and pouting.
as though she'd been grounded.
"it's not fair!" - with eyeliner picking up marijuana smoke, running amuck through kyoto song.
the thing is that she's like 45.
arrested development. entitlement. just a spoiled brat. call it what you will. but, it has to end soon, one way or another.
as though she'd been grounded.
"it's not fair!" - with eyeliner picking up marijuana smoke, running amuck through kyoto song.
the thing is that she's like 45.
arrested development. entitlement. just a spoiled brat. call it what you will. but, it has to end soon, one way or another.
you're going to get arguments like "but it was after midnight" or "but it was after 4:00", like that matters - because, in her warped concept of logic, it actually does, because that's when her parents went to sleep and she could do what she wants.
this is what i'm dealing with, here.
there's no logic to it.
this is what i'm dealing with, here.
there's no logic to it.
it's been mostly ok most of the night, but she seems to be smoking right now.
it's not exactly overwhelming. yet.
but, it demonstrates the problem, which is the addiction itself. she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong. so, she's going to push it and push it until we're back where we were. and, that's why i had to file to the board - she's just not interested in making the choice of complying.
she's like a 12 year old. really.
that said, i think i overheard her say she was moving in with her daughter.
that would be nice...
it's not exactly overwhelming. yet.
but, it demonstrates the problem, which is the addiction itself. she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong. so, she's going to push it and push it until we're back where we were. and, that's why i had to file to the board - she's just not interested in making the choice of complying.
she's like a 12 year old. really.
that said, i think i overheard her say she was moving in with her daughter.
that would be nice...
Thursday, April 26, 2018
i woke up to a bit of a curveball.
the property manager showed up a little after 11:00, and handed me a new set of building regulations.
- no smoking
- no drugs
hrmmn.
everybody in this building smokes pot. this was never my intent, but i guess the owner had to buckle.
if the other tenants are upset about the universal application of the rules, they should blame her, and not me. i only care about my own unit. she's the one that cried that it's not fair. it's her fault.
that said, these rules are not enforceable, and i don't have any faith in these tenants to obey them - or in management to enforce them. they're just going to spend a lot on legal costs, with no end point.
she's smoking right now.
so, i mailed the t2 & t6 this morning.
and, i have a letter for the property manager., as well.
A T2 and T6 were completed on the evening of April 25th, 2018, with intent to process them on April 26th.
On the morning of April 26th, before these documents were processed, Ina appeared at my door with a new list of rules, including a no-smoking rule and a no drugs policy.
I do not have faith in the tenant to abide by these rules, and I do not have faith in the management to enforce them. My last smoke complaint was met by a request for me to move, so I don’t expect anything different in the future. And, as I am typing this, I can smell marijuana wafting into the unit from downstairs.
So, the documents were processed on the afternoon of April 26th, despite the existence of the new rules. Should the situation improve, to my surprise, by the time of the court appearance, I will cancel the court date. I would actually prefer not to move, I just can’t stay in an unhealthy unit. Be advised that I can always reapply for an end to the tenancy, with proper compensation.
Despite Ina’s claims, there was no law passed in Ontario restricting smoking indoors. There was in fact a law passed in Ontario restricting the outdoor use of cannabis. I do not think that Ina was confused, I think she was being dishonest. My legal opinion is that an action against the tenant below me would be unsuccessful, given the current legal realities. The legal reality in Ontario is that it is the ownership’s responsibility to renovate the unit, or compensate me for moving costs and damages. I did not write these laws, and do not like them much, but they are as they are.
In the mean time, I am making the following requests for renovations in the unit. There will be further requests made as the tape is fully removed.
Bedroom
When I moved into this unit, the bedroom had cracks in the wall. This was presented to management in writing, and I took pictures, as well. I eventually noticed smoke seeping in the cracks. As I did not want to be a nuisance tenant, I hoped that covering the cracks with tape would keep the smoke out. This was actually partially successful. However, management has asked me to remove the tape. I believe it is reasonable to request that the holes be patched, in exchange for removing the tape.
I have left a tarp over the water closet in the short term, until a proper discussion can be had on how to fix the water closet.
I also acknowledge that the baseboards will need to be repainted, but, as a tenant, I don’t care much about this. I would, however, advise management to contemplate the wisdom in seeking legal action over $5 worth of paint, considering that they are unlikely to even win the case at all. It would be a better idea to just paint the baseboards.
I will at least apologize for the inconvenience, but would request that you in turn realize the desperation underlying it.
Door Frame
While the seal on the new doors is in fact quite impressive, the frame was never completed properly. In an attempt to be a quiet tenant, I simply taped around the frame. This was reasonably effective. As per the request of management, I have removed this tape, but feel it is reasonable to ask for the management to compensate by caulking the door frame. This is actually a simple request to finish a job that was never really finished.
Once these issues are dealt with, similar small requests will be made on the other side of the unit.
the property manager showed up a little after 11:00, and handed me a new set of building regulations.
- no smoking
- no drugs
hrmmn.
everybody in this building smokes pot. this was never my intent, but i guess the owner had to buckle.
if the other tenants are upset about the universal application of the rules, they should blame her, and not me. i only care about my own unit. she's the one that cried that it's not fair. it's her fault.
that said, these rules are not enforceable, and i don't have any faith in these tenants to obey them - or in management to enforce them. they're just going to spend a lot on legal costs, with no end point.
she's smoking right now.
so, i mailed the t2 & t6 this morning.
and, i have a letter for the property manager., as well.
Update on the Situation in Unit 15
A T2 and T6 were completed on the evening of April 25th, 2018, with intent to process them on April 26th.
On the morning of April 26th, before these documents were processed, Ina appeared at my door with a new list of rules, including a no-smoking rule and a no drugs policy.
I do not have faith in the tenant to abide by these rules, and I do not have faith in the management to enforce them. My last smoke complaint was met by a request for me to move, so I don’t expect anything different in the future. And, as I am typing this, I can smell marijuana wafting into the unit from downstairs.
So, the documents were processed on the afternoon of April 26th, despite the existence of the new rules. Should the situation improve, to my surprise, by the time of the court appearance, I will cancel the court date. I would actually prefer not to move, I just can’t stay in an unhealthy unit. Be advised that I can always reapply for an end to the tenancy, with proper compensation.
Despite Ina’s claims, there was no law passed in Ontario restricting smoking indoors. There was in fact a law passed in Ontario restricting the outdoor use of cannabis. I do not think that Ina was confused, I think she was being dishonest. My legal opinion is that an action against the tenant below me would be unsuccessful, given the current legal realities. The legal reality in Ontario is that it is the ownership’s responsibility to renovate the unit, or compensate me for moving costs and damages. I did not write these laws, and do not like them much, but they are as they are.
In the mean time, I am making the following requests for renovations in the unit. There will be further requests made as the tape is fully removed.
Bedroom
When I moved into this unit, the bedroom had cracks in the wall. This was presented to management in writing, and I took pictures, as well. I eventually noticed smoke seeping in the cracks. As I did not want to be a nuisance tenant, I hoped that covering the cracks with tape would keep the smoke out. This was actually partially successful. However, management has asked me to remove the tape. I believe it is reasonable to request that the holes be patched, in exchange for removing the tape.
I have left a tarp over the water closet in the short term, until a proper discussion can be had on how to fix the water closet.
I also acknowledge that the baseboards will need to be repainted, but, as a tenant, I don’t care much about this. I would, however, advise management to contemplate the wisdom in seeking legal action over $5 worth of paint, considering that they are unlikely to even win the case at all. It would be a better idea to just paint the baseboards.
I will at least apologize for the inconvenience, but would request that you in turn realize the desperation underlying it.
Door Frame
While the seal on the new doors is in fact quite impressive, the frame was never completed properly. In an attempt to be a quiet tenant, I simply taped around the frame. This was reasonably effective. As per the request of management, I have removed this tape, but feel it is reasonable to ask for the management to compensate by caulking the door frame. This is actually a simple request to finish a job that was never really finished.
Once these issues are dealt with, similar small requests will be made on the other side of the unit.
Wednesday, April 25, 2018
so, i have a t2 and a t6 filled out.
i am requesting:
$1000 - moving costs
$1000 - bed
$1000 - couch
$500 - dry cleaning & laundry
$200 - tape & tarps
$100 - cleaning supplies
============
$3800 + a tbd percentage of rent paid, which will be $5600.
at 25%, that will be over $5000.
they will also no doubt hire lawyers.
the law is an ass, here. but, hopefully the court will make renting to inside smokers quite expensive, and hopefully that will create some pressure to put some more reasonable laws in place.
nobody should be allowed to smoke inside, ever. ten feet from the house should be the law....
i am requesting:
$1000 - moving costs
$1000 - bed
$1000 - couch
$500 - dry cleaning & laundry
$200 - tape & tarps
$100 - cleaning supplies
============
$3800 + a tbd percentage of rent paid, which will be $5600.
at 25%, that will be over $5000.
they will also no doubt hire lawyers.
the law is an ass, here. but, hopefully the court will make renting to inside smokers quite expensive, and hopefully that will create some pressure to put some more reasonable laws in place.
nobody should be allowed to smoke inside, ever. ten feet from the house should be the law....
is this even possible?
well, i know what it feels like to be high, and i know that the smoke is getting me high. i'm not guessing that maybe i'm this mysterious thing called "being high". i'm identifying something i know very well.
i think that the basic idea here is correct: it's hard for second-hand smoke to get you high.
what are the facts, here?
1) this building has no "ventilation system". my windows are wide open when they can be, which is not always. hers are shut. it's certainly not a "hot box", but the smoke is only exiting one direction, and it is up. the winds tend to blow around the building rather than into it.
2) the floors basically aren't there. so, it's like i'm sitting in an open concept above her, directly in her exhale path. sometimes, it's like she's blowing it in my face.
3) i have a very, very low tolerance to marijuana. it appears to be unusually low. i also know this from experience.
4) she has a very high tolerance.
5) she smokes very potent marijuana. it appears to be very high cbd, very low thc. i actually think that the terpene stuff is bullshit. but, this is the kind of pot that knocks you out for days, without really getting you "high".
6) she smokes very big joints, and smokes them frequently.
all of these factors are going to play into this. and, all i can say is i know what i'm feeling, and it's pretty real. this is the experiment, and these are the results i'm reporting. somebody else may have different experiences, due to a higher tolerance....
....but i'm perfectly comfortable with stating that i'm getting knocked out by a high volume of high potency marijuana, even in a relatively open space, but i recognize that it depends on whether i get into contact with what i call a "plume" or not.
i'm not watching her from downstairs, but a "plume" probably happens when she takes a hard three or four hit toke on one of these huge joints. when that happens, i'm getting the smoke burned off the joint (which is substantial), the smoke missed in the toke and the exhaled smoke. what i'm getting at is that the way she smokes is very wasteful, and i'm actually getting a lot of uninhaled marijuana as a result of it.
the smell itself is not going to do it. i have to walk into one of these plumes. and, because she seems to be smoking near my bed [both before and after i moved my bed], that is exactly what is happening, repeatedly.
https://www.livescience.com/50880-secondhand-marijuana-smoke-effects-drug-test.html
well, i know what it feels like to be high, and i know that the smoke is getting me high. i'm not guessing that maybe i'm this mysterious thing called "being high". i'm identifying something i know very well.
i think that the basic idea here is correct: it's hard for second-hand smoke to get you high.
what are the facts, here?
1) this building has no "ventilation system". my windows are wide open when they can be, which is not always. hers are shut. it's certainly not a "hot box", but the smoke is only exiting one direction, and it is up. the winds tend to blow around the building rather than into it.
2) the floors basically aren't there. so, it's like i'm sitting in an open concept above her, directly in her exhale path. sometimes, it's like she's blowing it in my face.
3) i have a very, very low tolerance to marijuana. it appears to be unusually low. i also know this from experience.
4) she has a very high tolerance.
5) she smokes very potent marijuana. it appears to be very high cbd, very low thc. i actually think that the terpene stuff is bullshit. but, this is the kind of pot that knocks you out for days, without really getting you "high".
6) she smokes very big joints, and smokes them frequently.
all of these factors are going to play into this. and, all i can say is i know what i'm feeling, and it's pretty real. this is the experiment, and these are the results i'm reporting. somebody else may have different experiences, due to a higher tolerance....
....but i'm perfectly comfortable with stating that i'm getting knocked out by a high volume of high potency marijuana, even in a relatively open space, but i recognize that it depends on whether i get into contact with what i call a "plume" or not.
i'm not watching her from downstairs, but a "plume" probably happens when she takes a hard three or four hit toke on one of these huge joints. when that happens, i'm getting the smoke burned off the joint (which is substantial), the smoke missed in the toke and the exhaled smoke. what i'm getting at is that the way she smokes is very wasteful, and i'm actually getting a lot of uninhaled marijuana as a result of it.
the smell itself is not going to do it. i have to walk into one of these plumes. and, because she seems to be smoking near my bed [both before and after i moved my bed], that is exactly what is happening, repeatedly.
https://www.livescience.com/50880-secondhand-marijuana-smoke-effects-drug-test.html
nope.
knocked out, again.
around 6:00.
this stuff is very, very powerful, but it's not any fun to get a headache and pass out. no euphoria. no buzz. no "high". just overwhelming lethargy, and a really nasty throb in the head.
i might actually recommend actual marijuana to get rid of this.
i can't write like this.
knocked out, again.
around 6:00.
this stuff is very, very powerful, but it's not any fun to get a headache and pass out. no euphoria. no buzz. no "high". just overwhelming lethargy, and a really nasty throb in the head.
i might actually recommend actual marijuana to get rid of this.
i can't write like this.
well, that gets me through dec of 2015, anyways.
i have a headache. again.
i'm going to get something to eat and hope it wakes me up a little and then get to writing that essay, with the full intent to mail it today. i've always tended to avoid doing school work when stoned (drugs and school don't go well together, kids), so i might have to wait for the influence to wear off a little, first.
i'm going to enter this journal into evidence, so i'll be posting detailed accounts of when the second hand smoke has an effect on me.
season 2 ends about a week into january, and the music blog is going to be updating sporadically afterwards. that should actually speed me up quite a bit.
i have a headache. again.
i'm going to get something to eat and hope it wakes me up a little and then get to writing that essay, with the full intent to mail it today. i've always tended to avoid doing school work when stoned (drugs and school don't go well together, kids), so i might have to wait for the influence to wear off a little, first.
i'm going to enter this journal into evidence, so i'll be posting detailed accounts of when the second hand smoke has an effect on me.
season 2 ends about a week into january, and the music blog is going to be updating sporadically afterwards. that should actually speed me up quite a bit.
i'm actually looking forward to turning 40, so i can say it.
thirty-something isn't scary.
but, they leave you alone when you tell them you're 40.
so, i do - but i'm lying.
it'll be nice when it's actually true...
they see me as a peer, but my interest in twenty-somethings is non-existent. i see them as children.
thirty-something isn't scary.
but, they leave you alone when you tell them you're 40.
so, i do - but i'm lying.
it'll be nice when it's actually true...
they see me as a peer, but my interest in twenty-somethings is non-existent. i see them as children.
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
i just took a walk downstairs to investigate the banging, and i caught her leaving in a waiting car, which is not conclusive.
she's obviously not going outside to smoke, because she's smoking inside - and she's already had a few.
so, i'm actually left with one of two conclusions: either she left for work a little late tonight or she's slowly moving things out.
if the smoke continues over night, and right now it seems like it's going to, i'm actually going to have to conclude that she's in the process of moving and question the property manager about it tomorrow before i mail the documents.
i don't know if having her move is good enough, any more. i know it's worth giving it another try, though. it's the easiest answer...
i could, of course, cancel the court process, as well.
she's obviously not going outside to smoke, because she's smoking inside - and she's already had a few.
so, i'm actually left with one of two conclusions: either she left for work a little late tonight or she's slowly moving things out.
if the smoke continues over night, and right now it seems like it's going to, i'm actually going to have to conclude that she's in the process of moving and question the property manager about it tomorrow before i mail the documents.
i don't know if having her move is good enough, any more. i know it's worth giving it another try, though. it's the easiest answer...
i could, of course, cancel the court process, as well.
unfortunately, she appears to be home tonight.
but, i'm wondering if she misread the n5.
i'm not getting an honest response from management; they're playing stupid about it. but, that's just it - they're just bluffing on everything. i can read. to the contrary, this woman is obviously not very bright.
when i made the second smoke complaint, it was after ten days. now, the n5 can be confusing, if you're already stupid to begin with, and this is what i meant when i pointed out that the property management was feigning incompetency.
the first n5 is just a warning. it says knock it off in the next ten days, or i'm going to try and evict you. now, it also comes with a date on it, but the date is really meant for the second n5, not the first one.
my n5 had the date of april 23rd on it, but it wasn't a meaningful date. it was either included out of incompetency, or out of an attempt to frighten me.
a stupid or ignorant person could get the notice and conclude that they have to move by the 23rd. and, if that is the case, i would expect that this woman would actually be moving out over the week.
that might explain why she's not working, and also why i'm hearing a lot of banging.
so, should i wait this out, or what?
when i called in on day 11, i got the (i think feigned) confused reaction from management, indicating they were holding to it. but, i know better.
does she?
hrmmn.
but, i'm wondering if she misread the n5.
i'm not getting an honest response from management; they're playing stupid about it. but, that's just it - they're just bluffing on everything. i can read. to the contrary, this woman is obviously not very bright.
when i made the second smoke complaint, it was after ten days. now, the n5 can be confusing, if you're already stupid to begin with, and this is what i meant when i pointed out that the property management was feigning incompetency.
the first n5 is just a warning. it says knock it off in the next ten days, or i'm going to try and evict you. now, it also comes with a date on it, but the date is really meant for the second n5, not the first one.
my n5 had the date of april 23rd on it, but it wasn't a meaningful date. it was either included out of incompetency, or out of an attempt to frighten me.
a stupid or ignorant person could get the notice and conclude that they have to move by the 23rd. and, if that is the case, i would expect that this woman would actually be moving out over the week.
that might explain why she's not working, and also why i'm hearing a lot of banging.
so, should i wait this out, or what?
when i called in on day 11, i got the (i think feigned) confused reaction from management, indicating they were holding to it. but, i know better.
does she?
hrmmn.
to be a little bit more clear.
it's not whether i'm cool or not that tends to get me upset. i don't care. i really don't. and i don't care if not caring is cool or not, either. or if...
it's the vacuous, empty and nihilistic definition of 'cool' that gets me wishing i lived on another planet.
i'm happy to hang out with the nerds.
it's the popular kids that make me depressed.
it's not whether i'm cool or not that tends to get me upset. i don't care. i really don't. and i don't care if not caring is cool or not, either. or if...
it's the vacuous, empty and nihilistic definition of 'cool' that gets me wishing i lived on another planet.
i'm happy to hang out with the nerds.
it's the popular kids that make me depressed.
i'm actually hoping for a rainy, cold summer in order to keep this person off the porch, so i can get some air in here.
there's no protection from the rain, there. and, the humid air is the best antidote for the smoke from downstairs, too.
it looks like the rain we were supposed to get this week isn't going to show up :(
there's no protection from the rain, there. and, the humid air is the best antidote for the smoke from downstairs, too.
it looks like the rain we were supposed to get this week isn't going to show up :(
well, i think it's worn off, now.
but i'll never make it there by 4:30.
i wanted to be there this morning, but i was literally too stoned to move for the last seven hours, from the secondhand smoke. this is a measure of the depth of the problem. and i'm not exaggerating; i was up in the afternoon, yesterday, i should not have been tired this morning. that was a short day....
i want to put the term 'stoned' in quotes, because it's not exactly like that. it's more like a sedative - and i've pointed out before that i suspect she is smoking opiates, at least sometimes. the pot obviously doesn't do much for her, right? and, this happens sometimes - i get a whiff of something and just fall over, for hours.
but, this is also typical of government pot, in my experience. government pot doesn't get you high, it just knocks you out. and, with the way they're prescribing it as an anti-depressant or pain reliever (rather than as the psychedelic it's used as, recreationally), that kind of makes sense. i don't know if it's a sativa/indica thing or something else, but government pot is really more like valium than it is like pot. and, as you might expect, that's not any fun.
the shit the government is going to eventually export is not going to be bc bud. it's going to be this over the top, sedative-heavy government pot engineered to feel like i'd imagine an opiate does. it's going to make you tired and insular, rather than euphoric and extroverted. and i don't expect to have much interest in it.
i'll have to try again tomorrow.
*shrug*.
i'm actually going back to sleep for a bit.
but i'll never make it there by 4:30.
i wanted to be there this morning, but i was literally too stoned to move for the last seven hours, from the secondhand smoke. this is a measure of the depth of the problem. and i'm not exaggerating; i was up in the afternoon, yesterday, i should not have been tired this morning. that was a short day....
i want to put the term 'stoned' in quotes, because it's not exactly like that. it's more like a sedative - and i've pointed out before that i suspect she is smoking opiates, at least sometimes. the pot obviously doesn't do much for her, right? and, this happens sometimes - i get a whiff of something and just fall over, for hours.
but, this is also typical of government pot, in my experience. government pot doesn't get you high, it just knocks you out. and, with the way they're prescribing it as an anti-depressant or pain reliever (rather than as the psychedelic it's used as, recreationally), that kind of makes sense. i don't know if it's a sativa/indica thing or something else, but government pot is really more like valium than it is like pot. and, as you might expect, that's not any fun.
the shit the government is going to eventually export is not going to be bc bud. it's going to be this over the top, sedative-heavy government pot engineered to feel like i'd imagine an opiate does. it's going to make you tired and insular, rather than euphoric and extroverted. and i don't expect to have much interest in it.
i'll have to try again tomorrow.
*shrug*.
i'm actually going back to sleep for a bit.
in one of the strangest demonstrations of surveillance yet, i'm listening to one of the remixes i spun off at the end of 2015 (http://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.ca/2015/12/insp.html) and it starts actually interfering with the loopback at the low frequencies, due to the depth of the bass drum.
there are several mixes of this track that use the same drum pattern, so i check each of them, and they all do the same thing.
i was able to solve it on a reboot.
but, it seems like what i was hearing was the bass beating out of phase with itself as it was being captured by the monitoring software.
again: i actually don't care if i'm monitored. i'm boring as fuck.
but, i can't create music when the monitoring software is degrading my audio quality, like this...
there are several mixes of this track that use the same drum pattern, so i check each of them, and they all do the same thing.
i was able to solve it on a reboot.
but, it seems like what i was hearing was the bass beating out of phase with itself as it was being captured by the monitoring software.
again: i actually don't care if i'm monitored. i'm boring as fuck.
but, i can't create music when the monitoring software is degrading my audio quality, like this...
but, it's just...
it's never been my thought process.
i've never been angry or sad or depressed and said "i need to get high". to the contrary, i've been angry or sad or depressed and decided to stay home and go to bed early, instead.
i need to be in a good mood to go out drinking & smoking, or i don't go out. i wouldn't want to get high if i wasn't feeling up to it.
& this is maybe why i don't really understand this. the premise of "medicinal marijuana" is combining two things - drugs & depression - that seem to be in contradiction with each other, to me.
when i'm depressed, i go to bed early; i only do drugs when i'm feeling great, and want to have a good time.
how did this get so confused?
it has to be capitalism that's at the root cause of this.
it's never been my thought process.
i've never been angry or sad or depressed and said "i need to get high". to the contrary, i've been angry or sad or depressed and decided to stay home and go to bed early, instead.
i need to be in a good mood to go out drinking & smoking, or i don't go out. i wouldn't want to get high if i wasn't feeling up to it.
& this is maybe why i don't really understand this. the premise of "medicinal marijuana" is combining two things - drugs & depression - that seem to be in contradiction with each other, to me.
when i'm depressed, i go to bed early; i only do drugs when i'm feeling great, and want to have a good time.
how did this get so confused?
it has to be capitalism that's at the root cause of this.
but, i don't associate drugs with depression.
being sad doesn't make me want to get high. getting high is something i do when i'm in a good mood, not something i do when i'm upset. i don't even know what being high and depressed is even like - i've never experienced this. i'd imagine it would just make me more upset. and, the stronger the smell of drugs is, the sadder i'm going to get.
it's not a comfort, or a crux, or something i do alone - it's a social activity that i always used to do with friends, and now do, at least, in public.
when i'm upset, i just want to go to sleep and wake up fresh - ie not hungover.
not tonight. tonight, i just need to deal with it. coffee...
being sad doesn't make me want to get high. getting high is something i do when i'm in a good mood, not something i do when i'm upset. i don't even know what being high and depressed is even like - i've never experienced this. i'd imagine it would just make me more upset. and, the stronger the smell of drugs is, the sadder i'm going to get.
it's not a comfort, or a crux, or something i do alone - it's a social activity that i always used to do with friends, and now do, at least, in public.
when i'm upset, i just want to go to sleep and wake up fresh - ie not hungover.
not tonight. tonight, i just need to deal with it. coffee...
it's not being around people that makes me upset. if anything, being around people makes me exceedingly angry.
it's the nature of humans that makes me upset.
people just smoke drugs, and don't care. they destroy the planet; they destroy themselves. they don't plan, they don't think ahead - all they care about is the present moment.
why can't people be more altruistic, and more interested in living healthy and productive lifestyles? why are so many humans these depraved, selfish utility monsters that destroy everything in their paths? why are we so easily controlled by media into believing such utter stupidity?
you try to live a healthy lifestyle, you try to give back, you try to do what you can to not contribute to all of these social and environmental problems, and all you get in return are these self-absorbed retards that can't even be bothered to get off of their obese assholes to go smoke a fucking joint, when somebody tells them it's making them sick.
i need to get out of here asap.
preferably to a planet with a different dominant species.
it's the nature of humans that makes me upset.
people just smoke drugs, and don't care. they destroy the planet; they destroy themselves. they don't plan, they don't think ahead - all they care about is the present moment.
why can't people be more altruistic, and more interested in living healthy and productive lifestyles? why are so many humans these depraved, selfish utility monsters that destroy everything in their paths? why are we so easily controlled by media into believing such utter stupidity?
you try to live a healthy lifestyle, you try to give back, you try to do what you can to not contribute to all of these social and environmental problems, and all you get in return are these self-absorbed retards that can't even be bothered to get off of their obese assholes to go smoke a fucking joint, when somebody tells them it's making them sick.
i need to get out of here asap.
preferably to a planet with a different dominant species.
to be clear: i've got the drug addict below me, and have had to open my window to deal with it.
now, there's a tenant next door that is sitting on her porch smoking, so opening the window is no solution.
i don't currently have a functioning laptop, but i'm considering spending my days at the library until i can get out.
now, there's a tenant next door that is sitting on her porch smoking, so opening the window is no solution.
i don't currently have a functioning laptop, but i'm considering spending my days at the library until i can get out.
if you're forcing me to choose, i would rather deal with second hand tobacco smoke.
it's gross. and unhealthy.
but, at least it doesn't make you tired....
there's a new problem: some ugly, fat wench is sitting in my fresh air intake and smoking 24/7, meaning i'm in the same impossible situation, once again.
what i'm experiencing is just a background general smoke: i can't tell what kind of smoke it is, and it may even be all mixed up. it's just burning my throat.
i want to finish 2015 before i get to the write-up to get out of here.
it's gross. and unhealthy.
but, at least it doesn't make you tired....
there's a new problem: some ugly, fat wench is sitting in my fresh air intake and smoking 24/7, meaning i'm in the same impossible situation, once again.
what i'm experiencing is just a background general smoke: i can't tell what kind of smoke it is, and it may even be all mixed up. it's just burning my throat.
i want to finish 2015 before i get to the write-up to get out of here.
Monday, April 23, 2018
outrageously, the response from the landlord was to suggest that if i can't deal with the smoke then i should move.
that's the literal definition of negligence, in context.
"if you don't like the mold on the ceiling, you can always move."
"if you don't like the asbestos in the living room, you can always move."
it's the same thing, legally.
you see this frequently with legal illiterates: i'm just getting some, like, nineteenth century contract theory bullshit. libertarianism seems to be the basic starting point of ignorance, in this culture.
so, i'm going to have to write the board an essay, and this won't get mailed until tomorrow. the basic argument is negligence under the health regulations, and liability for breach of the enjoyment covenant.
but, i got a mailing address, at least. that wasn't obvious.
the truth is that they're actually kind of walking into a trap; it's not like i set the trap, but , if i did, they'd have walked right into it. they've given me everything i need to make the argument for negligence...
and, i need to reiterate: i like tort law. i think more of the law should be organized around tort law principles. tort reform, to me, means expanding the principles of tort law to further destroy contract theory. it's the criminal law that i don't like, and it's classical liberalism that pisses me off...
that's the literal definition of negligence, in context.
"if you don't like the mold on the ceiling, you can always move."
"if you don't like the asbestos in the living room, you can always move."
it's the same thing, legally.
you see this frequently with legal illiterates: i'm just getting some, like, nineteenth century contract theory bullshit. libertarianism seems to be the basic starting point of ignorance, in this culture.
so, i'm going to have to write the board an essay, and this won't get mailed until tomorrow. the basic argument is negligence under the health regulations, and liability for breach of the enjoyment covenant.
but, i got a mailing address, at least. that wasn't obvious.
the truth is that they're actually kind of walking into a trap; it's not like i set the trap, but , if i did, they'd have walked right into it. they've given me everything i need to make the argument for negligence...
and, i need to reiterate: i like tort law. i think more of the law should be organized around tort law principles. tort reform, to me, means expanding the principles of tort law to further destroy contract theory. it's the criminal law that i don't like, and it's classical liberalism that pisses me off...
if you like a glass of wine now and again does that mean you're an alcoholic?
that you want your bed to smell like spilled vodka, and stale puke?
that you want your kitchen to smell like gin, or your bathroom to smell like barley?
that you want your clothes to smell of elderberry?
that you drink so much that you fall over?
just because you like a glass of wine at christmas, or a beer at a show? really?
this is not binary. we don't have to choose between never smoking and smoking an ounce a day. there's a large spectrum...
that you want your bed to smell like spilled vodka, and stale puke?
that you want your kitchen to smell like gin, or your bathroom to smell like barley?
that you want your clothes to smell of elderberry?
that you drink so much that you fall over?
just because you like a glass of wine at christmas, or a beer at a show? really?
this is not binary. we don't have to choose between never smoking and smoking an ounce a day. there's a large spectrum...
i'm posting in the rebuild right now about how marijuana isn't addictive.
and, it really isn't.
this is the first pot addict i've ever met...
and, she's no doubt more addicted to the idea of the drug than the drug itself. she probably thinks it makes her cool, or something; it's probably some kind of fear of missing out.
"marijuana is not physically addictive" is a factual statement. that is science. but, they claim it's "psychologically addictive" - which means that heavy users can trick themselves into thinking they're addicted, when they really aren't.
it's more like they want to be addicted, because they think being addicted is cool, and they don't want to miss out.
twisted. truly.
but, as i am contradicting myself, let be me clear: i am well aware that marijuana is not an addictive substance, and when i'm ranting about this woman being a drug addict, i shouldn't be taken fully literally. she's a wannabe addict.
and, it really isn't.
this is the first pot addict i've ever met...
and, she's no doubt more addicted to the idea of the drug than the drug itself. she probably thinks it makes her cool, or something; it's probably some kind of fear of missing out.
"marijuana is not physically addictive" is a factual statement. that is science. but, they claim it's "psychologically addictive" - which means that heavy users can trick themselves into thinking they're addicted, when they really aren't.
it's more like they want to be addicted, because they think being addicted is cool, and they don't want to miss out.
twisted. truly.
but, as i am contradicting myself, let be me clear: i am well aware that marijuana is not an addictive substance, and when i'm ranting about this woman being a drug addict, i shouldn't be taken fully literally. she's a wannabe addict.
"so, how does she go out to party all the time, then?"
i don't.
i went out once in november, once in december, zero times in january, february or march and twice in april.
i'm often able to save a few dollars over the winter, so that i can go out more frequently in the summer. i also get those gst checks in every three months. but, the budget gives me about $100/month to spend, most months - which is enough for one or two nights out
and, the truth is that i spend most of my time inside in front of the computer.
as you can see.
i don't.
i went out once in november, once in december, zero times in january, february or march and twice in april.
i'm often able to save a few dollars over the winter, so that i can go out more frequently in the summer. i also get those gst checks in every three months. but, the budget gives me about $100/month to spend, most months - which is enough for one or two nights out
and, the truth is that i spend most of my time inside in front of the computer.
as you can see.
do i really have to make this argument?
i have one source of income: odsp.
it's $1150/month.
my expenses are $1026/month [if i spend $200 on groceries, which is often an exaggeration].
where do you propose that i get all of this money to get stoned all of the time?
i don't have an alternate source of income. i don't have a marijuana card.
please just accept the fact that i don't smoke.
i have one source of income: odsp.
it's $1150/month.
my expenses are $1026/month [if i spend $200 on groceries, which is often an exaggeration].
where do you propose that i get all of this money to get stoned all of the time?
i don't have an alternate source of income. i don't have a marijuana card.
please just accept the fact that i don't smoke.
it's not that i'm living some kind of ascetic lifestyle or something.
i don't have any kind of philosophical objection to being a stoner - it's just not my idea of a good time.
i simply prefer being sharp-witted, awake, alert. i don't enjoy the sore throat. i don't like being tired....
if i was going to get addicted to something, it would be cocaine, not marijuana. as it is, i'm usually fine with coffee.
i don't have any kind of philosophical objection to being a stoner - it's just not my idea of a good time.
i simply prefer being sharp-witted, awake, alert. i don't enjoy the sore throat. i don't like being tired....
if i was going to get addicted to something, it would be cocaine, not marijuana. as it is, i'm usually fine with coffee.
Sunday, April 22, 2018
i need to be clear: the problem here is not the drugs, it's the user. drugs don't smoke themselves.
if she were to go take a walk, she wouldn't be bothering anybody. she really wouldn't.
but, her insistence on smoking inside is very much bothering somebody: she's making me very sick, and dramatically negatively impacting on my quality of life.
my costing is as follows:
$1000 for moving costs
$300 for materials used to smoke-proof the apartment (which the landlord ordered me to take down)
$500 for laundry & dry-cleaning
$100 for cleaning supplies
$500 for a new bed [my mattress is ruined]
25% of rent paid is $1400, presuming the lease ends august 1st.
==========
$3800
i hope it makes people think twice about renting to drug addicts.
if she were to go take a walk, she wouldn't be bothering anybody. she really wouldn't.
but, her insistence on smoking inside is very much bothering somebody: she's making me very sick, and dramatically negatively impacting on my quality of life.
my costing is as follows:
$1000 for moving costs
$300 for materials used to smoke-proof the apartment (which the landlord ordered me to take down)
$500 for laundry & dry-cleaning
$100 for cleaning supplies
$500 for a new bed [my mattress is ruined]
25% of rent paid is $1400, presuming the lease ends august 1st.
==========
$3800
i hope it makes people think twice about renting to drug addicts.
given that she's obviously smoking this much because she can't get
high any more, she's probably actually at risk of moving to something
harder.
i've seen studies arguing both ways, and they're probably both right, depending on the context. i can understand how marijuana could help a heroin addict - although i might suggest methadone, instead. less harmful. on the other hand, when your tolerance to marijuana is as absurd as this woman's is, and the delivery method is giving you pneumonia, it's easy to understand the appeal of something stronger, too.
it probably depends on what stage the addict is in. an opiate addict that wants to get better but is physically addicted could use pot as a crutch, even if they relapse in the long run; a desperate pothead that just isn't getting high anymore might look at opiates as the only way to get what they're after. and, i might have thought that was obscure a few months ago, but i never thought i'd meet somebody that smokes as much as she does, either.
she's obviously just not getting high.
i've seen studies arguing both ways, and they're probably both right, depending on the context. i can understand how marijuana could help a heroin addict - although i might suggest methadone, instead. less harmful. on the other hand, when your tolerance to marijuana is as absurd as this woman's is, and the delivery method is giving you pneumonia, it's easy to understand the appeal of something stronger, too.
it probably depends on what stage the addict is in. an opiate addict that wants to get better but is physically addicted could use pot as a crutch, even if they relapse in the long run; a desperate pothead that just isn't getting high anymore might look at opiates as the only way to get what they're after. and, i might have thought that was obscure a few months ago, but i never thought i'd meet somebody that smokes as much as she does, either.
she's obviously just not getting high.
the way marijuana works is that the more you smoke, the less high you get. all drugs are like this: it's the law of diminishing returns.
so, if you wanted to emulate me, for whatever reason, the way to do this is to only smoke once in a while. that way, you get really high from just getting in on the odd round. when you smoke as little as i do, you only have to buy a $5 pre-roll to get stoned enough that you're still feeling it in the morning. those rastas don't even get a buzz off of that.
whatever media exists of me baked is in fact strong evidence that i don't get high very often, as i would be less obviously trashed if i did.
and, the key to accomplishing this level of inebriation on a regular basis is actually to buy into the culture of sobriety. my daily drug of choice is coffee, not marijuana. i've quit tobacco. but, i drink a pot of coffee a day, and only smoke up a couple of times a month - if that. some months, i don't get stoned at all.
you need that space to prevent yourself from developing tolerance; what my media footprint really is is a lack of tolerance, due to sporadic use.
if i smoked as much as people seem to think i do, i wouldn't get high in public at all - i'd just be your average "chill" stoner.
and, if i disappear from public view for a long period, as i tend to, it's safe to assume i'm completely sober during that period. and, i don't want to build up a tolerance - that would just make my infrequent binges less fun.
this should all be obvious, but it isn't, for some reason. people seem to think i somehow get completely ripped from a random toke at the bar, then go home and smoke mad amounts. but, that doesn't actually make any sense, and you should all know that it doesn't...my obviously low tolerance is evidence that i don't smoke much at all....
right now, i just have a sore throat and wish i was more awake.
she's still blazing. every twenty minutes. it's surreal.
so, if you wanted to emulate me, for whatever reason, the way to do this is to only smoke once in a while. that way, you get really high from just getting in on the odd round. when you smoke as little as i do, you only have to buy a $5 pre-roll to get stoned enough that you're still feeling it in the morning. those rastas don't even get a buzz off of that.
whatever media exists of me baked is in fact strong evidence that i don't get high very often, as i would be less obviously trashed if i did.
and, the key to accomplishing this level of inebriation on a regular basis is actually to buy into the culture of sobriety. my daily drug of choice is coffee, not marijuana. i've quit tobacco. but, i drink a pot of coffee a day, and only smoke up a couple of times a month - if that. some months, i don't get stoned at all.
you need that space to prevent yourself from developing tolerance; what my media footprint really is is a lack of tolerance, due to sporadic use.
if i smoked as much as people seem to think i do, i wouldn't get high in public at all - i'd just be your average "chill" stoner.
and, if i disappear from public view for a long period, as i tend to, it's safe to assume i'm completely sober during that period. and, i don't want to build up a tolerance - that would just make my infrequent binges less fun.
this should all be obvious, but it isn't, for some reason. people seem to think i somehow get completely ripped from a random toke at the bar, then go home and smoke mad amounts. but, that doesn't actually make any sense, and you should all know that it doesn't...my obviously low tolerance is evidence that i don't smoke much at all....
right now, i just have a sore throat and wish i was more awake.
she's still blazing. every twenty minutes. it's surreal.
i don't normally sit in this room.
as far as i can tell, she lights a joint about every 20 minutes. and, i've seen these things - they're not joints, they're cigars, really.
she's been chain smoking since about 3:30, maybe a bit before. she seems to have overwhelmed my defenses around 3:30, anyways. let's say 3:40 to make the math easier.
that means she has smoked at least 10 cigar-sized joints in the last 3.5 hours. that's probably at least $50 worth of pot. in the last 3.5 hours. by herself.
that's more expensive than cocaine.
me? i take one three-toke pass between sets and i'm licked until the morning. and, then i don't touch it for three weeks - until the next show.
if she's smoking that much, the sad truth is that it must be because it doesn't actually get her high, anymore. and, so, what's the point of even smoking it?
it's easy to deduce that this woman goes to work all day in order to spend all her money on a drug that makes her really sick, pisses off her neighbours and doesn't even get her high.
doctor's orders?
what a sad joke.
this isn't a medicine, and it's not doing anything for her.
it's an addiction that is ruining her life.
as far as i can tell, she lights a joint about every 20 minutes. and, i've seen these things - they're not joints, they're cigars, really.
she's been chain smoking since about 3:30, maybe a bit before. she seems to have overwhelmed my defenses around 3:30, anyways. let's say 3:40 to make the math easier.
that means she has smoked at least 10 cigar-sized joints in the last 3.5 hours. that's probably at least $50 worth of pot. in the last 3.5 hours. by herself.
that's more expensive than cocaine.
me? i take one three-toke pass between sets and i'm licked until the morning. and, then i don't touch it for three weeks - until the next show.
if she's smoking that much, the sad truth is that it must be because it doesn't actually get her high, anymore. and, so, what's the point of even smoking it?
it's easy to deduce that this woman goes to work all day in order to spend all her money on a drug that makes her really sick, pisses off her neighbours and doesn't even get her high.
doctor's orders?
what a sad joke.
this isn't a medicine, and it's not doing anything for her.
it's an addiction that is ruining her life.
in fact, i am a health nut and enviro-fascist.
i have an extremely healthy diet.
i don't smoke.
i get a lot of exercise.
i recycle in buildings that don't.
i compost.
i don't own a car; i walk, i bike.
i had a struggle with cigarettes that i've won. but, my entire life is centered around minimizing my carbon output and living as healthily and as safely as possible. and, living in other people's smoke is consequently an impossibility - a contradiction, an unacceptable premise.
i have an extremely healthy diet.
i don't smoke.
i get a lot of exercise.
i recycle in buildings that don't.
i compost.
i don't own a car; i walk, i bike.
i had a struggle with cigarettes that i've won. but, my entire life is centered around minimizing my carbon output and living as healthily and as safely as possible. and, living in other people's smoke is consequently an impossibility - a contradiction, an unacceptable premise.
i'm very sorry if you thought that i was some kind of advocate for heavy drug use, but i've been very clear that i am not.
most marijuana users are not drug addicts, as most alcohol users are not alcoholics. but, the ones that are addicts need help, not normalization.
all i care about is my lungs, which i have gone to great lengths to keep healthy by quitting smoking over two years ago and cannot allow to be damaged due to the selfish negligence of asshole neighbours.
i do not care what happens to her.
she's created her own problems.
most marijuana users are not drug addicts, as most alcohol users are not alcoholics. but, the ones that are addicts need help, not normalization.
all i care about is my lungs, which i have gone to great lengths to keep healthy by quitting smoking over two years ago and cannot allow to be damaged due to the selfish negligence of asshole neighbours.
i do not care what happens to her.
she's created her own problems.
no, she's back to smoking again in her usual spots.
the t2 will be mailed on monday.
that's the end of this.
and, don't let anybody tell you that "medicinal marijuana users" aren't drug addicts. there's no other way to understand this: this person is an addict, and she's not going to stop.
she didn't stop when i asked.
she didn't stop when the cops asked.
she didn't stop when the landlord asked.
and, she didn't stop when the owner asked.
that is drug addiction.
period.
t2 is coming.
i need to get out of this hellhole...
the t2 will be mailed on monday.
that's the end of this.
and, don't let anybody tell you that "medicinal marijuana users" aren't drug addicts. there's no other way to understand this: this person is an addict, and she's not going to stop.
she didn't stop when i asked.
she didn't stop when the cops asked.
she didn't stop when the landlord asked.
and, she didn't stop when the owner asked.
that is drug addiction.
period.
t2 is coming.
i need to get out of this hellhole...
the smell in here tonight is tobacco, but i can't get a handle on the source.
it's absolutely revolting.
but, the thing is that a part of it might be the actual floor, and the smell might be the building adjusting to the spring. and, if i'm not careful, i could be blaming people for something that is actually nobody's fault.
also, given that the source is unclear, i could be mistaking the smell of tobacco for the smell of mold.
it's annoying that this happened on the first night after moving my bed out, but it's also a saturday, and i need to deal with one thing at a time.
if or when i move out of here, i'm going to need to be more careful in analyzing the tenants. again: i like the building. it's that i don't like the other people living in it.
it's absolutely revolting.
but, the thing is that a part of it might be the actual floor, and the smell might be the building adjusting to the spring. and, if i'm not careful, i could be blaming people for something that is actually nobody's fault.
also, given that the source is unclear, i could be mistaking the smell of tobacco for the smell of mold.
it's annoying that this happened on the first night after moving my bed out, but it's also a saturday, and i need to deal with one thing at a time.
if or when i move out of here, i'm going to need to be more careful in analyzing the tenants. again: i like the building. it's that i don't like the other people living in it.
Saturday, April 21, 2018
so, what's happening in the saga of the second-hand smoke, now well into it's second year?
as far as i can tell, the woman directly below me is still not smoking in the unit. so, i'm still holding off on that t2. i'm not holding my breath, though.
last night, however, around 1:00, i got a nasty whiff coming from what i think is the tenant diagonally below me. but, i think i can fix that.
it's not that i want to pick on the tenant directly below me, it's just that there's no solution due to the geometry of the unit, and, frankly, the amount of smoke involved. the guy directly across me smokes a little bit - like, a pinner on friday nights, right; minimal. i had fixed that by taping up the door frame. i took the tape down, so i'll have to put in a request to caulk around the frame, instead. problem solved. if the person on the diagonal smokes a little, on weekends or something, i think we can solve that by building up the baseboards - or maybe by asking the person to smoke on the other side of the unit. the point is that there's a solution. unfortunately, it doesn't matter where the woman below me smokes, and i've learned that i can't keep it out - either one of us has to leave, or she's gotta stop smoking. there's no compromise - it has to be absolute.
see, and she's going to cry that it's not fair that she has to stop while everybody else gets to smoke, and maybe that's true. sometimes, life isn't fair. but, all i care about is keeping the smoke out. i'm not pretending that this isn't a difficult situation, i'm just being crystal clear that all i care about is my own well-being. so, i'm not interested in the application of fair laws across the building; this is simply not my prerogative. she happened to be unlucky enough to have a vocal non-smoker move in above her, and the property owner happens to not be sticking up for her. that's how this cookie has crumbled.
i still expect to be the one that moves, in the end, but we're not there, yet.
i flipped out a little last night, because the smoke triggered the bronchitis. i've moved everything out of the bedroom and will need to put in a work order on monday or tuesday. right now, the space is airing out, and i'm going to need to clean the remaining glue out before i put the order in.
what does it look like?
well, it looks a tad worse. i lost a little bit of paint; it's nothing structural, and all of the problems that exist already existed. but, i'll acknowledge some aesthetic issues with the existing damage. which is...
ok: imagine there's a crack in the wall, and imagine that there is smoke seeping in through the crack. so, i put duct tape over the crack as a simple solution - and it mostly works, at least in the short term. then, when i take the tape down, on request of the owner, i peel a little paint off from around the crack, making the crack look a little worse.
you could make the naive argument that i ought to be liable for the damage, but this is really absurd - there was already a crack in the wall and it already needed to be fixed. rather, i'm going to make the following argument:
1) there was a crack in the wall.
2) smoke was coming in through the crack.
3) therefore, i blocked off the crack with duct tape.
4) the property owner has requested that i remove the duct tape.
5) therefore, i am going to request that the crack be fixed to prevent further seepage.
and, i mean, they could sue me if they really want. they'll probably lose. and, even if they win, they'll never get anything out of me.
they should just fix the cracks.
and, that's where i am right now: i have everything back in the living room, i'm caustically waiting for the woman downstairs to light a blunt, which will trigger the final exit, and i'm going to give the property manager a letter in the next few days asking that the cracks in the bedroom be fixed,.
regarding the paint...
yeah. i lost a little paint.
they employ a full time painter.
and they'd have to paint, anyways.
again: they'll spend thousands trying to extract a few dollars out of me, they'll probably lose and if they win they'll never see it. it's going to cost them $10 worth of paint to just fix it.
but, you can't quantify stupidity.
right now, i'm going to eat and try to spend the night rebuilding.
as far as i can tell, the woman directly below me is still not smoking in the unit. so, i'm still holding off on that t2. i'm not holding my breath, though.
last night, however, around 1:00, i got a nasty whiff coming from what i think is the tenant diagonally below me. but, i think i can fix that.
it's not that i want to pick on the tenant directly below me, it's just that there's no solution due to the geometry of the unit, and, frankly, the amount of smoke involved. the guy directly across me smokes a little bit - like, a pinner on friday nights, right; minimal. i had fixed that by taping up the door frame. i took the tape down, so i'll have to put in a request to caulk around the frame, instead. problem solved. if the person on the diagonal smokes a little, on weekends or something, i think we can solve that by building up the baseboards - or maybe by asking the person to smoke on the other side of the unit. the point is that there's a solution. unfortunately, it doesn't matter where the woman below me smokes, and i've learned that i can't keep it out - either one of us has to leave, or she's gotta stop smoking. there's no compromise - it has to be absolute.
see, and she's going to cry that it's not fair that she has to stop while everybody else gets to smoke, and maybe that's true. sometimes, life isn't fair. but, all i care about is keeping the smoke out. i'm not pretending that this isn't a difficult situation, i'm just being crystal clear that all i care about is my own well-being. so, i'm not interested in the application of fair laws across the building; this is simply not my prerogative. she happened to be unlucky enough to have a vocal non-smoker move in above her, and the property owner happens to not be sticking up for her. that's how this cookie has crumbled.
i still expect to be the one that moves, in the end, but we're not there, yet.
i flipped out a little last night, because the smoke triggered the bronchitis. i've moved everything out of the bedroom and will need to put in a work order on monday or tuesday. right now, the space is airing out, and i'm going to need to clean the remaining glue out before i put the order in.
what does it look like?
well, it looks a tad worse. i lost a little bit of paint; it's nothing structural, and all of the problems that exist already existed. but, i'll acknowledge some aesthetic issues with the existing damage. which is...
ok: imagine there's a crack in the wall, and imagine that there is smoke seeping in through the crack. so, i put duct tape over the crack as a simple solution - and it mostly works, at least in the short term. then, when i take the tape down, on request of the owner, i peel a little paint off from around the crack, making the crack look a little worse.
you could make the naive argument that i ought to be liable for the damage, but this is really absurd - there was already a crack in the wall and it already needed to be fixed. rather, i'm going to make the following argument:
1) there was a crack in the wall.
2) smoke was coming in through the crack.
3) therefore, i blocked off the crack with duct tape.
4) the property owner has requested that i remove the duct tape.
5) therefore, i am going to request that the crack be fixed to prevent further seepage.
and, i mean, they could sue me if they really want. they'll probably lose. and, even if they win, they'll never get anything out of me.
they should just fix the cracks.
and, that's where i am right now: i have everything back in the living room, i'm caustically waiting for the woman downstairs to light a blunt, which will trigger the final exit, and i'm going to give the property manager a letter in the next few days asking that the cracks in the bedroom be fixed,.
regarding the paint...
yeah. i lost a little paint.
they employ a full time painter.
and they'd have to paint, anyways.
again: they'll spend thousands trying to extract a few dollars out of me, they'll probably lose and if they win they'll never see it. it's going to cost them $10 worth of paint to just fix it.
but, you can't quantify stupidity.
right now, i'm going to eat and try to spend the night rebuilding.
Friday, April 20, 2018
the smell tonight - and this isn't the first time - is overwhelming levels of garlic.
this is actually leading me back to meth; maybe they are smoking outside, but i can smell their armpits from here, kind of thing. meth users are known to smell like garlic - like, not from the smoke, but from the body odour.
nobody eats garlicy meals for hours straight. i guess somebody could have left something out, but it's happened repeatedly.
somebody could have terrible gas, and i could be smelling it over and over again. it's actually quite plausible.
it could be another distraction tactic - burning garlic so i can't smell the pot.
but, the reality is that all evidence points towards this building being some kind of meth centre - either through production, or through massive use.
is there some possibility that all of the potheads around me are smoking laced pot and don't know it? well, three months ago i'd have told you that the premise of meth-laced marijuana is crazy talk. you'll find it with pcp from time to time, unfortunately - it's unpleasant; you deal with it. but, meth? this isn't real, right?
maybe it is.
i may never figure out what the truth is around this. i've got clues, and i can put them together, but getting some kind of confirmation is going to be almost impossible. and, i'm no doubt just scratching the surface of something.
i don't need or even want to know, frankly.
but the clearer the meth connection gets, the more i want out.
it's possible that somebody just needs to shower more frequently. but, it's really one thing after another...
this is actually leading me back to meth; maybe they are smoking outside, but i can smell their armpits from here, kind of thing. meth users are known to smell like garlic - like, not from the smoke, but from the body odour.
nobody eats garlicy meals for hours straight. i guess somebody could have left something out, but it's happened repeatedly.
somebody could have terrible gas, and i could be smelling it over and over again. it's actually quite plausible.
it could be another distraction tactic - burning garlic so i can't smell the pot.
but, the reality is that all evidence points towards this building being some kind of meth centre - either through production, or through massive use.
is there some possibility that all of the potheads around me are smoking laced pot and don't know it? well, three months ago i'd have told you that the premise of meth-laced marijuana is crazy talk. you'll find it with pcp from time to time, unfortunately - it's unpleasant; you deal with it. but, meth? this isn't real, right?
maybe it is.
i may never figure out what the truth is around this. i've got clues, and i can put them together, but getting some kind of confirmation is going to be almost impossible. and, i'm no doubt just scratching the surface of something.
i don't need or even want to know, frankly.
but the clearer the meth connection gets, the more i want out.
it's possible that somebody just needs to shower more frequently. but, it's really one thing after another...
"burn bay leaves in the house and see what happens after ten minutes"
i'm going to ask for an x-ray of your lungs, and observe that you're coughing your ass off.
smoke is smoke.
so, stop burning shit inside...it's all the same cancer-causing smut...
tobacco. marijuana. sage. now, bay leaves. it's all the same thing.
i'm going to ask for an x-ray of your lungs, and observe that you're coughing your ass off.
smoke is smoke.
so, stop burning shit inside...it's all the same cancer-causing smut...
tobacco. marijuana. sage. now, bay leaves. it's all the same thing.
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