so, what am i doing?

well, first - it's cold in here.

and i'm very angry about it.

the law does not say that if you have an unseasonably warm day in february, you can turn the heat off. what the law says is that you have to provide heat.

and, i'm not going to pester the landlord about it. i'm going to sue her for two things:

1) an injunction forcing them to turn the heat on.
2) pro-ration of the rent compensating me for the heat that i paid for and did not receive.

yes, i think that litigation is the way to solve problems.

no, i don't care what the neighbours think.

that said, i'm going to wait a little bit because i recognize that i made an error: i knew it was going to be warm today, so i turned the heat down.

the lesson i've learned is that i should never, ever turn the heat down.

however, if the heat does not turn on before midnight, i will mail the documents in the morning; after talking with some tenants, i've learned that the landlord is quite negligent, and i simply don't have patience for dealing with negligence of this sort.

the law is not ambiguous, and i do not feel like i have the obligation to be patient about this.

second, it took me a little longer to do some cleaning and whatnot this week, but it's done now, and i'll be focusing on finishing up 7/15 tonight - so long as the heat turns on.

it's not my fault, i was sleeping.

you know your misanthropy runs deep when even your subconscious dream state starts throwing stuff around like this:

i don't want knowledge,
i want certainty! 

fucking humans...

to clarify: i'm broadly opposed to capital punishment, on the "what if we're wrong?" foundation of legal liberalism.

but, all rules require exceptions.

and, god's crimes are literally beyond parallel in scope and documentation.

could god receive a fair trial? certainly not. doesn't matter...

if we can prove a god exists, then we can find a way to stop it from existing, further; to an extent, proving that god exists is the same thing as disproving that what we're labelling god is actually immortal.

the only open question in my mind is "how do we actually physically end god's existence?".

of course, killing god will not put an end to faith. but, at least we can point to the historical record, label them flat-earthers and move on.

why should we show mercy to a god that has shown no mercy to us?

i'm not interested in "morals".

i'm interested in logic.

the likelihood of god existing is so low as to be negligible.

but, rare events happen.

and, if we somehow find out that a god does exist, we should try it for war crimes and, when convicted, execute it accordingly.

to put it another way...

my views are so much more radical than manson's, and even were as a teenager, that he just struck me as another way to articulate the status quo.

there will be almost no mention of manson in the alter-reality, because i am not and never have been a fan of his.

i was 15 when antichrist superstar was released, a fan of nin and corgan, and deeply anti-conformist, but i don't think i've ever listened to it all the way through. if i ever have, it was by accident, at a party.

first of all, the music is just not very interesting.

but, i don't think the fan base cares much about how boring the actual music actually is.

the flat truth is that i just thought marilyn manson was stupid. i didn't find him interesting or challenging on any level, and what he said was less thought provoking to me and struck me more as just flat out daft.

my opinion hasn't changed at all over the years.

i probably wouldn't have been able to articulate this at the time, but this is the difference: i was an atheist from a very, very young age. not a satanist. an atheist. so, he actually struck me as just promoting another ideology that needed to be broken down. and, if you want to tell me that satanism is not a religion, i'm going to have to take the opposite position in a debate on it.

like, i need to be clear: when i heard him speak, i heard an ideological enemy rather than somebody on my side of things. he wasn't telling people to think for themselves and rely on empiricism and science, he was just giving them an alternate means of brainwashing and trying to work them into another kind of ideology.

i was as opposed to manson's views as i was opposed to any other religionist's views.

i guess i was smart enough to see through it from the start.

and, if your ambitions are to smile as you kill, please turn your ambitions upon yourself.

i think the claim that i lack ambition is pretty obviously false.

rather, my argument is that a market-driven, competitive society makes actual ambition virtually impossible to actualize. i mean, look around you. it's a constant. in order to be successful, you have to throw your ambitions away, first.

there's room at the top, they're telling you still
but first you must learn to smile as you kill...

all that ambition is ever going to get you in this society is a one way ticket to permanent poverty.

and that is what you see in front of you when you look at me.

so, what am i even doing?

well, i've just been sitting here ranting for a long time. i'm kind of feeling in limbo, between things.

i keep trying to do the cleaning i need to do in here, so i can sit down and get back to work, but i keep getting distracted. and, i've actually barely slept in days.

i think i'm going to get some work done for the night, and try to focus on the prep for the week tomorrow. the end point is doing laundry & tucking myself into bed to finish the rest of the rebuild, but it will have to wait yet another day before i get that in motion.

"but she didn't say anything about the millennials' music".

well, i'm not a millennial.

sorry.

as though every other critic didn't focus on millennial music, right?

i don't care how old an artist is. if it's good, it's good. but, if it's bad, it's bad - and i'm not going to follow trends or kowtow to the market to fit in or be 'cool'. i'm an adult, and i'm broadly going to be disinterested in music that is being mass marketed to children.

the new dmst disc is my record of the year

in fact, the only new record i spent any substantive amount of time with in 2017 was the new do make say think record and, by default, it consequently wins record of the year.

and, it's a strong record - it's going to deserve somewhere in the low 90s, out of 100. it deserves mention, at least.

if there were stronger records released last year, i'm not the person to look to for elucidation, at this point. broadly speaking, i need to dig hard to find what i want; i'm not going to find much of value in these year end lists, and, for me, 2017 was a 'me' year, where i focused mostly on my own music, while restricting my exploration to acts i already had a high confidence in. i don't expect to spend much time digging over 2018, either. rather, i'll probably end up cycling back over 2019 or 2020.

when i get to the process of digging, you will no doubt be surprised by what i pull out - and much of it will be obscure or forgotten.

i've added a few new acts to my core list over the last few years, and they've mostly run the course, at this point. cloud nothings & la dispute are done. annie clark has gone full junkie retard. i'm going to give touche amore one more, at most - but they're going to sell out, not break up. but, in truth, i wasn't even really keeping up with that, and that's something i'm going to be doing as i finish what i'm doing over the next few weeks.

actually, i have absolutely no idea at all what a "cara delavigne" is.

sorry.

but, it would be nice if, whatever it is, it would return what was once one of the most promising electronic musicians out there back to the home planet.

in the end, nobody is saved. i know better.

but, i'm not interested in the corporate rock mythology. annie clark wasn't some throwaway junkie like kurt cobain or amy winehouse; she had a lot of talent, and it's sad to see it be pulverized under whatever combination of addiction and greed that it got pulverized under...

and, then, bjork.

my expectations with bjork have been dramatically lowered over the last fifteen years, to the point that i'll consider this a successful release if i deduce it's worth listening to a second time.

it's starting off relatively well. let's see where it goes.

i'm at track two, and this currently sounds like every other time that bjork has tried to be serious since vespertine, which wouldn't be such a tragedy if it were more dynamic. it's less that it's the same thing over and over again, and more that it's the same meandering aimlessness, yet again.

i caught the mt zion sample. did you?

i'm going to let this play, because it's bjork and i can still enjoy what is really brutal stagnation from her on a kind of basic level. and, i might listen to it a second time, too. but, she really needs somebody to challenge her, to take her out of these patterns she's built up around herself, to smash whatever mental chains are keeping her running on the spot and prevent her from going over what is really the same song over and over and over.

thoughts on the new st. vincent record.

i skipped st vincent, who i've still yet to see play an actual set, a few months ago after giving the record a very brief listen and finding essentially nothing of value in it at all. i'm coming back to it now as a last chance, and it's just really not remotely in my sphere of interest, at this point.

hopefully, she finds a way to put the pills away and get her brain back. but, that's not how this usually works.

that is my takeaway from this record: annie clark's talent has apparently evaporated due to drug use.

first impressions of the new son lux record

i've been waiting for this one for what seems like forever, and it's actually been a while since i found myself doing anything like that; i've become used to disappointment after a few records, and, in the process, just stumbling upon things, sometimes months after the fact.

the lead singles had me worried, but not too worried, because i went through this with the last record, too - the singles seemed flat when separated out from the record. but, i don't 'get' singles, anyways, unless they're epics. they're just too short. i have a very hard time focusing on pieces of music for less than five minutes at a time...it's done before it starts...and, as an ad, which is all a single can ever really be, artistically, the process of releasing singles seems incapable of hooking me, and may have even turned me off of records i would have otherwise liked.

so, fuck singles. i should really just not bother, and ritually wait for the records. easier said than done, right?

but, any perceived lack of depth that the singles projected when separated from the record evaporates upon a few listens. and i need to stress the necessity to listen. at least five times. son lux has always been a little difficult, that's half of why i'm attracted to it, but it's also always been very rewarding, as pop, once you disentangle it, which is the other half of the reason i'm attracted to it. this record is, at times, just kind of opaque, on immediate first impression. the sound is saturated over the spectrum, and it needs to be disentangled, but it's the syncopation that you need to really get used to before you can mentally decode the songs into something coherent.

if you're not going to give this some time, you're going to get bored quickly enough, and i'll tell you that this will unfortunately happen to quite a few people. but, if you spend the time with it, you're going to uncover a record that is simultaneously a little bit of a throwback to the outsider music of the first record and a kind of a step towards glossier pop, at the same time. the record also reuses a number of themes on the records in between. this makes the project seem somewhat like a summary of ryan lott's career, and i might question his motives in doing that.

if the band pivots after this record into less abstract material, this will likely end up as the normal way into son lux' comparably deeper and more difficult back catalogue. backwards.

as a contained record, this pull between what i'm projecting as a poppier future for the band and the more artistic past that already exists leaves something that is almost existential in scope. while this is where the music i listen to normally lives, i actually kind of liked the sheltered and somewhat neurotic vocals that i'm used to from this band and hope that, at the least, we get to keep this moving forward. but, you can hear that he's interpreted the present moment as some kind of pivot, some kind of paradigmatic shift, some kind of epiphany: weren't we beautiful once?

sure, ryan. back when america was great, right? but, make sure you're careful getting off the cross, because there's another martyr in line behind you.

i don't expect this band to go full boring. if anything, he's projecting a strong palette of pop influences; on this record, the very obvious nods are to freddie mercury and david bowie, and if these are the pop icons he's throwing out in front of him, what's coming is likely to be both ambitious and tasteful.

but, i wouldn't expect another record like this.

http://music.sonluxmusic.com/album/brighter-wounds

so, i'm still plugging away at this.

i've now reached the point where i've caught up to where i left the master document, in late june of 2015, when i finished the initial version of the period one disc. remaining data for the master music document is either in the combined everything document or waiting to be pulled down from the blog itself (after mid 2016). i'll have about a year worth of facebook, youtube & google+ posts to pull out of the combined document before the blog asserts itself as an end point.

what happened was that i realized that the period one disc was not going to be comprehensive, unless i went back to remix the inri/inriched period from scratch. this is when everything started to go wrong, culminating in an eviction at the end of 2017. and, it took me until late 2016 to actually finish the remixes.

as it is, i'm going to have to carry the document on, now, through the rebuild & re-release process that follows. there will be quiet periods in the rebuild, but i'm sure i'll find some distractions to post, include an increase in numbers of concerts attended, starting in late 2015.

the next section runs from late june to late october of 2015 and documents a combination of the gear difficulty and my increasing absorption by the canadian election. it ends when i get a vlog camera. i'm hoping it's a little bit faster than the last period, because there aren't any actual releases.

i'm just past 900 pages, fwiw.

as of jan, 2017, it seems like firefox fixed the problem i was having with streaming flac locally over html5 audio, meaning i should be able to complete the period discs the way i actually wanted to, without any extra windows or funny scripts.

i kind of expected that would happen. glad it has.

thoughts on the new gybe! record

i'm actually interpreting the general feel of the record to be somewhat of a throwback to a component of their first record; one could suggest that this record lacks the variety of emotion that the first record did, but that might be missing the point - they clearly wanted to key in on a specific sound.

but, it sort of misfires.

on the first record, it came off as defiantly hopeful, that is, hopeful in the face of certain defeat; and, considering what the band was at that time, how could they have expected anything besides failure? this is a specific kind of optimism, in that it is understood by all to be futile. what it is is delusion and for that reason was so effective as escape - it was absurd to be hopeful, and that's why it was fun, for a few minutes. the expanded melodic percussion, the xylophones, really aided in this general feeling.

here, it is coming off as an order. BE HOPEFUL, DAMMIT. NOW. HOPE. NOW.

and, here's the thing: that might work better for a lot of people. it really might.

but, i liked the hope better without the coercion.

i'll probably still go seem them play next month.

i am now caught up to where i left off last year, which was may, 2015. so, what i'm actually back to is the rebuild...

i need to rebuild the second part of 2015 over both archives, and varying amounts of 2016 through the both of them.

so, where am i?

i'm in march, 2015.

i'm also filling in a bit of the politics archive, so that's going to slow me down a bit, but i think it's a good idea, because i've been referencing myself in a way that nobody can verify.

this remains a lengthy process and i want to be clear that it's a distant eta.

if you think that it's dark or scary to imagine we have no purpose - as though this is an obscure possibility, right - then you are experiencing something called existential dread.

i would argue that it is really existential dread that is at the root cause of the continuing spread of religion, well into an era where it should have ceased to exist many decades ago.

"but, science says the purpose of existence is to maximize your number of descendants, so shouldn't being an atheist mean you want to have as many kids as you can?"

it's funny how religious people tend to think that science perfectly upholds religion, isn't it? i mean, how could it not, if you're absolutely certain in your faith? that's the thing about faith - all possible evidence always upholds it. if you have faith in santa claus, the absence of presents under the tree any given year just proves you were bad. and, if you have faith in god, then any possible set of events that can be thrown at you will just be perverted to offer more and more evidence for it's existence.

faith is a perversion of logic. that is why it is such a dangerous tool, and must be kept away from the state.

in the western/judaic context, this talk of descendant maximization goes all the way back to the torah. god gave abraham this purpose. but, how did this get attached to science? well, it didn't, except in the minds of religious people, that are seeking out some kind of purpose, because that was what they were taught to seek out.

so, we have this problem: when people raised with religious upbringings come into contact with science, they need to frame it in terms that they understand. religion teaches them that existence is about purpose, and that that purpose has something to do with god (although this itself is circular logic, as the purpose is created to justify god, rather than the other way around). if science is to offer some alternative to religion, it must offer some alternate purpose, right? and, from there, they come up with this vulgar dawkinsianism that deduces that our purpose, as humans, is in carrying on the dna. we exist to breed.

but, the reality is that you'd be hard-pressed to find a scientist (or an atheist) of any ability or renown that would accept that humans have any kind of purpose, as that pre-supposes that a god exists to define it, first. who or what defines purpose, if god does not exist? it's a neat trick that the religious person does, here, in defining existence in purely religious terms, before bringing it to the scientific bodies for answers, as, once you have done that, you have hard-wired religion into the question, and made it useless to science. you can walk down this path with philosophy, it's what it's all about, but not with science, which will provide you with no worthwhile answers if you present it with what are brutally leading questions.

science cannot pre-suppose that a purpose exists. science must gather evidence to determine if it suggests that a purpose exists. whether the nature of the purpose is an empirical question or not, which is what the religionists pre-suppose and assign to scientists as a strawman, is reliant on whether the purpose exists or not, first, which is also an empirical question, and not something to pre-suppose at all.

while it would be extremely difficult to do a comprehensive study that empirically disproves that we have purposes, the lack of evidence underlying any purpose is a convincing argument that we have no purposes, for most atheists and most scientists.

and, so this is what the atheist will tell you: science does not argue that our purpose is to breed, but rather that we have no inherent purpose at all, and are free to define our purposes as we see fit to do so.

i've decided that my purpose is not to raise a family but to to complete my discography, and, because i seek to be free, there is nothing in the universe that has the right to challenge my authority on the point.

so, what am i doing, anyways?

from a distance, it probably seems like i've just fallen through the ground and into a rabbit hole, as i was prancing through the rhetorical field of rhetoric.

yes, the rhetorical field of rhetoric. it's a rhetorical field, remember. of rhetoric.

i think christmas is going to end in the next few days. yeah, it's a long one this year. well, i wanted to deal with all of the alter-reality writing - from 12/1996 to 02/1998 and counting - and, as those who have been following this for a while know, my writing tends to get a little more expansive on, err, holidays.

yes, friday is a holiday. legally. really.

so, i've been maintaining the proper mindset, notwithstanding tolerance, since christmas, preparing myself for the writing in the alter-reality...

....and i actually haven't even started yet.

as we can see, i've ranted here quite a bit, and quite nicely, since the 15th of january, when i closed the audio for the first two periods. today, i've been ranting nearly non-stop for like 18 hours or something - although i'm just about to stop. so, i've done a lot of writing, even if it's not in the topic i was intending. but, what i'm really doing is building a master list of album notes, so that i can pull the parts out that i need as i run through the alter-reality and close.

i need to reiterate that i only have to do this once and that, once it is done, the remaining process wil be much, much smoother.

so, what have i done over the last week?

i've built the first 350 pages of the master list up. the document is currently 700 pages, and has notes going to mid 2015 in it.

at this point, i would guess that the final document (1996-2018) will be around 3000 pages long - word, 8.5"x12", 12 pt - although i only expect to get up to around 1000 by the time i get to actually writing.

which will be when?

march.

christmas will be over before january is.

ok, so i've got the facebook pages updated. i'm going to ultimately convert that timeline into something hardcoded, so i'm actually really using it for data redundancy. but, if you want, you can scroll all the way back to 1996 and see a detailed time-based presentation of my first two periods.

https://www.facebook.com/pg/jessicaambermurray/

there's a condensed version mirrored at my personal facebook site, as well.

i need to close the last bunch of releases for the vlog before i can get back to the alter-reality, but first i need to eat...

i've decided that i need to approach the master list a bit more cumulatively to start. so, i should just get right to reading what was written over 1996, and writing 1997 and planning out 1998. i can get to filling the rest in once that's been taken care of.

i plugged my router back in this morning, and it's made an instant difference in speeding up my machine. i had it unplugged because i didn't want to break the network architecture in the old apartment, but now it doesn't matter any more, because i have to rebuild it anyways.

it's facebook, mostly, that's the problem. i'm guessing that, even with adblock, all of the scripts running are just killing the dns, when it's external. pulling the dns down into the router seems to make a massive difference in responsiveness. that's really crazy, actually. for all of the talk of facebook's influence on elections, it seems to have tied itself to the same generation that is in the process of slowly eroding power, while making it unattractive to younger people. and, these slow pages, if they're widely experienced, are going to just add to the problem.

so, i should be a bit more productive today, as i won't be waiting for pages to load. what i'm doing is distributing the last batch of uploads over facebook, which will be a part of building the master list, soon.

so, i just accomplished something - i've closed all of the audio for period 2.

so, this is where i put the placeholder for period 2, for now.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-2

that means my discography is now completed for the period 1996-2003, with the caveat that i'll need to add a pdf file to each release for liner notes, and i have to finish the period 1 & period 2 discs, which are html front-ends on a pdf file that is the culmination of all of the individual ones.

i still have some work to do on this.

but, what's next?

it's jan, 1998 in the alter-reality. i left off in dec, 1996.that's a year worth a journal writing, and i'll need to get to it soon. but, i need to recalibrate, first.

first, i need to clean in here. i need to ship the rest of that order. but, i feel better about it now, because i'm over that hump.

i'm not sure how long it's going to take to recalibrate and get all this data in line, but i should be coming up on absolute final closes on inri000-inri015 in the upcoming weeks. and, then i need to stay up to date...

republishing inri074

around october, 2002 i met a friend. i was sort of in need of a friend, and i mean that in the friend sense. but, the mental condition i was in was the explanation of why i needed a friend, if you see what i mean; i was completely unstable in this period and did all kinds of absurd things, which isolated me - and i wasn't getting any better.

i dropped out of school under the realization that i was walking down a path that wasn't getting me anywhere close to what i wanted out of life. i ended up working three jobs to raise money for gender reassignment, and it crossed me paths with somebody that was also trying to think of ways to get out of the box in terms of ways to exist.

she was trying to save up money to go to british columbia. it was some kind of warped take on the grapes of wrath, where everything works out perfectly. but, the rent was eating into her savings, which was making the goal seem impossible. well, unless we stopped having fun.

so, i suggested she should just stay at my parents place. part of it was a hope that she would move her drum kit in, although that didn't happen. and, i might add that this was done with all of the reckless abandon that could be contemplated - we were moving stuff in without even asking, it was really remarkable.

and, it seemed to me that we were getting pretty close over that period.

so, when the time came that she had all that money put aside to go to bc, it was kind of a downer to let her go. and, she initially wanted to go with a friend who dropped out. so, i ended up going across the country with her.

now, i need to be clear: we weren't planning on coming back. we were going to pick fruit or something - we didn't know, exactly, we'd figure it out when we got there.

so, this was meant as a sort of farewell to certain people i hadn't talked to in months and didn't care if i was leaving, anyways. i think it let me work some things out on weird subconscious levels, but the truth is that these songs really aren't about anybody except me, and there's no use in pretending they are - i just liked the idea of a farewell disc.

this disc was initially passed around with a cut up version of the pretentious untitled mix at the end, but this was almost immediately ejected from future burns and is not present on this ep due to the poor quality of the mix. the remaining five tracks became combined into what i now call my eighth symphony.

written and recorded in late 2002 and early 2003. this was initially uploaded unmodified from a cd-r rip in may, 2015, but this was replaced with a version from source on nov 29, 2017 due to clipping due to an unrealized normalization on the burn. disc finalized as symph008 on nov 29, 2017. as always, please use headphones.

the hidden track is the final version and also appears on my ninth record, {e} (inri08x): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/e

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2003, 2015, 2017). 

credits

released May 3, 2003

j - guitar, effects, bass, synth, voice, piano, drum programming, generative programming (sounder), granular synthesis, sound design, soundscaping, loops, bowls, claps, tables, ebow, orchestral sequencing, digital wave editing, sampling, production, composition

publishing inri073

it was in may of 2015 that i first contemplated the idea of a chamber works. i was creating compilations to end my second period, when i realized that a couple of the tracks that did not fit well into the orchestral works might work better as chamber pieces. so, the chamber works was intended as a kind of companion disc to the orchestral works, both to offer a different flavour and to collect the remaining tracks into a compilation of serious music, so they are not left out.

so, i went back and did a systematic evaluation of the period 2 material to see which tracks could or could not be converted into chamber pieces. the last three mixes were created at this time, while the first was removed of clicks.

then, i stopped. i decided that an electronic chamber works was an idea of questionable worth, and i should put the idea aside for a bit and take a look at the idea again upon reconstruction of the period 1 tapes.

what the issue really comes down to is how good the electronic strings sound. does this actually sound like chamber music, or does it sound like a computer creating chamber music? and, if it sounds like a computer, is the issue resolvable somehow?

when i came back to completing period 2 in the fall of 2017, i decided in favour of the release, as the sound fonts are convincing enough, even if one needs to ignore a few relics here and there. tracks two and three were subsequently added to the compilation.

i decided at the end that this format has some future to it, whether it is fully realistic or not. string music will probably never go away. but, composers are going to find themselves less and less interested in actual physical reproduction, as time moves forward. the question of realism in the tracks is consequently somewhat misplaced, as the chamber music of the future is likely to be performed by computers, and sound like it just a little bit.

initially written and recorded between 2001-2003 and remixed and recorded further over 2014-2015. an idea for this compilation was developed over the last week of may, 2015, but it was not finished or released at that time. corrected and expanded from october, 2017 to january, 2018. finally released & finalized as lp022 on jan 14, 2018. as always, please use headphones.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2014, 2015, 2017, 2018). 

credits

released May 2, 2003

j - controller input, programming, effects processing, mixing, digital wave editing, composition.

the various rendered electronic orchestras include piano, orchestral drum kit, violin, guitar, viola, cello, contrabass, various string sections and choir.

publishing inri072

an unexpected result of the project to complete my discography, undertaken in late 2013, has been the construction of a handful of orchestral pieces, mostly as remixes of original tracks from the jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj period. while these tracks were initially written out as scored pieces for expanded instrumentation, they were generally written around the guitar and the expanded instrumentation was largely meant simply for colour. the exception to this is the psilocybin symphony, which was written as a piano concerto from the start and previously completed in early 2006.

the ability to expand these pieces into orchestral works is the result of the advances in vst sampling technology that have occurred since 2003. while changes in instrumentation have been accompanied by extra writing (mostly on the guitar), tempo shifts and other general rearrangement choices, the existing technology makes it very easy to rearrange a rock song for an orchestra, by simply multiplying staves and changing the sound fonts.

the condition i've set for a piece to be "orchestral" is that it must utilize the entire orchestra: it must have percussion, piano, horns, woodwinds/reeds and strings. guitars are generally treated like "first violins", whereas violins are generally not considered to be more special than other similar string instruments. some of the tracks also have prominent choral sections. all of these pieces meet this condition, except the last one which does not have a woodwind/reed section.

my delve into scorewriting ended in 2003; the material in my third phase is more focused on live and manipulated guitars and synthesizers. i consequently feel that this is an interesting summary of my second period, taken from a specific angle that is otherwise largely relegated to single-only remixes.

initially written and recorded between 2001-2003 and remixed and recorded further over 2014-2015, except track 2 which was completed in early 2006 and track 5 which was completed in 2017. the initial final compilation date was may 23, 2015, but track five was then added on oct 14, 2017 and the disc was finalized as lp021 on nov 29, 2017. track 7 was added as a download-only bonus track on jan 14, 2018. as always, please use headphones.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2014, 2015, 2017, 2018).

* download only 

credits

released May 1, 2003

j - controller inputs, drum & other programming, orchestral & other sequencing, live guitars, live bass, live synths, effects, sound design, digital wave editing, composition, production.

the various rendered electronic orchestras includes violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric guitar, nylon guitar, guitar fret noise, bass guitar, synthesizer bass, french horn, trumpet, trombone, tuba, english horn, oboe, bassoon, clarinet, saxophone, bamboo flute, flute, piccolo, synthesizers, mellotron, organ, piano, harp, koto, music box, clavinet, kalimba, xylophone, agogo, mallet, hammered percussion, woodblock, tubular bells, tinkle bells, glockenspiel, orchestra hit, melodic toms, electronic drum kit, timpani, orchestral drum kit and choir.

republishing inri071

i've taken to splitting my discography into phases, and my hitch-hiking trip to british columbia is a very important separation point - both in terms of the nature of the material that came out afterwards and what is now a substantial body of work that came before it. that makes it a natural point to look backwards and build compilations of intersecting ideas.

a characteristic of my work is that it does not conform well to genre norms. this is not an accident; when compiling a record, i'm guided more by the late beatles' philosophy of vast diversity in a small space than i am by any kind of desire to collect together nice singles, or by some kind of compulsive organizing into categories or concepts. i write psychedelic music. that means something different in 2015 than it did in 1966, but the commonality is that it's necessarily challenging. i want all of my records to do everything at once, and accomplish everything by their end point. that makes compilations of this sort inherently difficult, because every song touches on every compilation idea at the same time. the jazz record would have the same tracklisting as the punk record, the classical record and the folk record - and none would really be what they're claimed to be.

the one exception to this conundrum is how i interacted with ambient music in this period. i very regularly utilized ideas from the genre, but i tended to interpret ambience as something that is necessarily obscure. in this period, ambient pieces are almost always outtakes or b sides. i tended to interpret covers and remixes as ambient pieces, probably because that was unexpected. when ambient ideas make it on to the record, they're almost always for effect: introductions, endings, connecting passages, that sort of thing.

when i began reconstructing my discography in early 2014, i came across a handful of songs i'd written out into midi format and put aside for later. a number of these ended up reworked into ambient pieces, and released as b sides. i also ended up converting some of the material i wrote in this period into ambient sound collages that are more in the style of music i created after 2003.

the end result is enough bsides and remixes to put together two full cds of ambient music. none of the tracks on volumes one or two are on any official record as they appear here; this is technically a collection of remixes and outtakes.

this package was initially released with a mix tape of fragments from 1996-1999, but it has since been moved into it's own release (inri035): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ambient-works-vol-0

initially written and recorded between 2000-2003 and remixed between 2014-2015. sequenced over mid may, 2015. the final compilation date was initially may 20, 2015, but both discs were mildly updated with some more appropriate mixes of the same tracks on nov 29, 2017; disc subsequently finalized as lp020. as always, please use headphones.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2014, 2015, 2017). 

credits

released April 28, 2003

j - guitars (acoustic, electric, nylon), effects & treatments, bass, synthesizers, electric air reed organ, orchestral & other sequencing, drum & other programming, generative programming (sounder), "projectile synthesis" (audiomulch), granular synthesis (granulab), sound design, electronic and conventional drum kits, sampling, loops, films, voice, digital wave editing, composition, production.

sean - vocal ideas (tracks 4 & 7, disc 1), ring modulator (track 9, disc 1)
jon - background guitar performance (track 4, disc 1)
greg - drum performance sample source (track 5, disc 1)

the various rendered electronic orchestras include synth bass, electric bass, acoustic bass, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, nylon guitar, guitar effects, guitar noises (fret noises, pick scrapes, knocks), synthesizer, synth pads, mellotron, choir, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, string section, pizzicato strings, french horn, trumpet, trombone, tuba, oboe, english horn, bassoon, clarinet, flute, piccolo, mallet, piano, woodblock, music box, xylophone, tubular bells, other bells, orchestra hit, electronic drum kit, melodic toms, drum machine and orchestral drum kit.

back in 2001, and bleeding into about 2003, i wrote a number of tracks into a scorewriter with the explicit intent of eventually having them performed by live ensembles. at the beginning of 2014, i decided that this wasn't likely to ever actually happen and went about completing the tracks in finalized forms - which happened over 2014 and 2015.

my initial plan for this compilation was to produce a record of midi compositions mapped to modern vst instruments as a "chiptune" (not literally) project, and have it double a record of fully realized versions of the tracks. as i went about completing the project, i began to realize that these vst versions were not sufficiently different enough from the finalized versions to justify a separate album and consequently aborted the project.

however, something that's happened since 2001 is that a more mature market has developed for midi-generated music, largely on the back of the success of the gaming industry. people have nostalgia for the sounds that their childhood gaming consoles made and an interest in listening to original music in the style of the soundtracks to those games.

i need to be clear that these are not gaming soundtracks - they're a mix of various types of classical and jazz, taking in influences from across the musical spectrum but essentially none from gaming. gaming isn't a thing i've ever really done, and the little bit i've done has tended to act as an excuse for listening to music (i had a mild civ2 obsession in early high school).

however, i feel that compiling a record of soundblaster mixes is something that could appeal to a specialized, niche audience and am going to put this record together for those people. i also feel it captures the headspace that i was in at the time. i've decided to mirror this soundblaster disc with the vst disc i was initially contemplating, to demonstrate where the technology has arrived at.

all of these tracks also appear on a set of cross-listed singles, and most of them are sequenced into a record at some point. there's more info on the track pages.

i've included the raw midi files in the download for further listening and modification.

these tracks were written from 2001 to 2003 and in some cases rearranged over the course of 2014 and 2015. all disc 1 tracks rendered through a soundblaster live! device that was manufactured c.1999. all disc 2 tracks created in cubase with vst software synthesizer technology. the compilation date is may 14, 2015. disc finalized as lp019 on jan 13, 2018. as always, please use headphones.

his release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2001, 2002, 2003, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018). 

credits

released April 29, 2003

j - controller inputs, programming, composition, digital wave editing, effects processing, production

the various rendered electronic orchestras include acoustic bass, synth bass, electric bass, flute, clarinet, brass, trumpet, trombone, tuba, soprano saxophone, orchestra hit, violin, cello, string section (tremolo), drum machine, electronic drum kit, hand drums, finger snaps, nylon guitar, electric guitar (distorted, clean), steel string acoustic guitar, fret noise, sitar, banjo, pc card clavinet, music box, piano, organ, bells, synthesizers, mellotron and choir. 

i'm actually not sure how i find myself in this position, here, at 2:00 in the morning.

i needed to detox today, but it manifested itself as typing in bed. i slept most of the day, not up until the afternoon. i wanted to clean, but cleaning means vacuuming and i don't know my neighbours well enough to hate them enough to vacuum at 2:00 am on a saturday morning. no, i'd rather at least wake them up at 8:00.

but, i'm not even convinced i can do that. i kind of feel like all i should be doing right now is sweating and typing, until i'm able to finish the plate of spaghetti i've been working on for four days, now.

what's the probability that i can get done through to inri074 tonight? well, let me give it a shot, right? it's just typing....

so, i'm just coming out of an extended christmas break, and i'm going to be a little bit mentally wander-y for a bit, still. i lost the last few days to distractions, really...

what are my tasks this weekend and into next week and for the rest of the season?

1) i need to finish cleaning in here. this is still move-in cleaning. i had to wait for the isp guy, and then the maintenance guy. floors, especially. so, i'm going to take a few days to do this.
2) i wanted to finish period 2, first, but not now. now, i want to clean first so i can get to the next batch of writing in bed. what's left is just the cover art for inri070-inri074, and i've already shipped inri071, inri072 & inri074. cleaning won't be too long and this will be quick...
3) i'm going to need to go back and finish the outline for period 1. this is the third winter in a row i've tried to do this. i have to actually do it, this time. this will include catching up to the alter-reality. and, once the structure exists, i should be able to carry forward with it. and, i might as well set up the structure for period 2, too.
4) i'll have to do a lot of fixing of things before i'm able to get to period 3. i have a stack of broken and disassembled technology that needs attention. so, there will be an extended studio set-up phase that will also include things like buying bookshelves. basically, this is getting back to what i was doing in the summer, pushing back into the spring. part of that will be catching up on the vlogging, although that will also be a part of building the period 1 disc.
5) notwithstanding any further problems, i should finally be able to start period 3 by summer, hopefully.

did the holocaust actually happen?

well, i might be a product of it. my paternal grandmother just kind of shows up as an orphan in the 30s, without much of any documented history. she was raised in an italian family, and one would no doubt make many errors if forced to differentiate between italians and jews out of a line-up, but i think most people would assume she looks pretty jewish. there's pictures of my dad from the 70s, full bearded, where he actually looks flat out arab, although he aged in a way that made him look not dissimilar to chomsky, in that eastern european jew kind of way - although he aged terribly. his physical appearance was described almost perfectly in the term 'italian jew'. although, when i say he aged in a way that made him look not dissimilar to chomsky, what i mean is that, at 50, he looked not dissimilar to chomsky at 70. i got my mom's genes, on that one; i remember bringing her to a field trip in the fourth grade, when she was almost 30. and having the entire school think she was my teenaged sister. this deduction, though, is ultimately not phenotypical - the two rumours on that side of the family are that she is in some unknown way a product of the holocaust (smuggled in, maybe?) and that she's the product of a mob hit, and sometimes these stories intersect in a tale of starcrossed lovers and racist slaughter by catholic mob bosses that couldn't deal with the interracial, and interreligious, eloping. my grandmother is a catholic. my aunt claims she found them in a newspaper clipping of young lovers tied to railroad tracks (and subsequently annihilated) in ottawa in the 30s, but the evidence is circumstantial, at best. my grandmother doesn't know.

between the time of her adoption and the time she was married, my paternal grandmother's last name was zito. and, ottawa was known to have an international mob presence, at the time. you can find pictures of the big bosses, i think including capone, existing in ottawa. it actually does add up. the fact that she seems to have no known history has led to the speculation that her adopted parents probably knew what happened - perhaps even knew the killers - and just didn't tell her. there is literally no trail. her adopted mother could have been her mother's sister, or something.

or maybe her parents managed to get her out, despite the attempts of north american governments to prevent jews from arriving. certainly, if you wanted to get your jewish infant or toddler child out of germany in 1937, you'd have had to have done something like smuggle it out. and, you wouldn't want a paper trail, because if it's found then the kid will get sent back.

maybe i'll look into it one day...

anyways, whether i'm the result of it or not, did the holocaust actually happen?

i run across this question from time-to-time, and i'm going to provide somewhat of a dodgy response: the holocaust is as well, or better, documented and convincingly demonstrated as any other event in accepted mainstream history. so, i can be as sure that the holocaust happened as i can be about any other event in history.

but, look at the words i'm using, the language, the context: event in history. history.

that is not the argument that my grandparents would provide. they may have been born as it was happening, and not remember it, but it was a part of their lives. this is not even the argument that my parents would provide, as they lived with people that lived it. three of my grandparents are even still alive, and all three of them could very well outlive my mother, between the heroin and the alcohol and the cigarettes, not to mention the half of a dozen duis.

but, the boomers are passing, and this is going to be the new reality around the holocaust: we are approaching the point where no living people have any connection to this any more, and it exists purely as history.

this is the situation that the holocaust memorial people have been preparing us for for the last 60 years, the point where the question is no longer about forgetting, because we don't have memories to forget. you can't forget what you never knew. instead, you need to ask the question: can you trust history?

well, can you?

punk?

it's exceedingly well documented. i understand this. but, so is the life of jesus.

a part of the problem is how central the holocaust story is to the western founding myth, at this point. it's intrinsically interconnected with the ascent of american hegemony, so it is consistently intertwined with narratives that are otherwise blatantly false. turning on cnn, you could very well have a holocaust memorial set sandwiched between a fraudulent expose on the syrian government gassing children and a jaw-droppingly bad interview with kellyanne conway that goes on for twenty minutes without managing to say a single true statement at all. association doesn't produce guilt, but it's a little unsatisfying to come to the conclusion that the only accurate information provided by the media is related to a historical event, even as they misrepresent every other kind of history on a hourly basis. the importance that the media places around it really does make the whole thing seem kind of fishy.

it's exceedingly well documented. i understand this. but, i think there will come a time when nobody really thinks this happened - or that the scale was exaggerated.

"6 million is an exaggeration. maybe it's an error by a scribe. i mean, look at the way that herodotus exaggerated the size of the persian army, for example. they probably added a few zeroes."

so, it's as well documented, or better documented, as any other event in history, sure.

but, analysing history is fundamentally different than analysing the present. this is something that's changing.

if german becomes a dead language, for example, we're going to lose incredible amounts of our scientific and broadly intellectual history, reliant on summaries in english and translations into russian. that is inevitable, though. we will forget this. we eventually won't be able to read it.

your precious hegel will eventually be illegible to even the most sophisticated idle bourgeoisie in berlin. perhaps this is when history implodes upon itself - it just swallows itself whole, and disappears into a wormhole, yelling taunts at humanity as it flees.

it reminds me a little of my argument that all history becomes poetry in the end, and that this relationship is determined by the co-efficient of poeticity, which is naturally pi. i'm not sure i've explored this here. that is for another time.

is human progress, civilization, inherently forgetful?

well, certainly a lot of humans are inherently forgetful. we forget to do things, and forget lessons taught to us, all of the time. maybe the idea that i'm really expressing is that many of us are stupid, but the way this manifests itself is largely as forgetfulness.

now, the individualist will point out that while many, perhaps most, people are forgetful, there are some people that are not and these people will carry on the thrust of human progress, no matter how forgetful we may collectively be. but, their argument relies on the ideological construct of independence, and this is an empirical question with little evidence supporting it. individualism, at best, seems to be rare. so, these individuals are really left with a curatorial task to remind people of what they've forgotten - they're really just the cleared registers in the collective, trying to avoid the garbage collection from clearing them away, urging for a second chance to exist in memory - and failing. it's like a broken system of error-correction; we can remember and forget at the same time. so, this question of the inherent forgetfulness of human progress does not reduce to a question around independent variables.

it's just a different intellectual conception of progress - not as a linear curve tilting off towards some windmill at infinity, but as this messy, chaotic step-function, full of unpredictable fragments.

there is, of course, a hierarchy of seriousness attached to the consequences of forgetting what is being forgotten. geography can be found easily. a lesson can be relearned. but, forgetting science can be devastating.

this is a potentially unrealized consequence of globalization - when the global culture falls, there will be nobody left to remember what was forgotten.

purchasing this release does not come with a download.

inri053: written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. published without modification on oct 6, 2014. expanded, re-released and finalized as symph006 and lp012 on oct 23, 2017.

inri057: written and recorded in late 2001 and early 2002. initially sequenced in may, 2002. re-sequenced and first released in june, 2002. re-released in slightly different forms from 2002-2014. resequenced to mimic the original sequencing and re-released on november 8, 2014. except to sequence the record, these files have not been altered since 2002. disc finalized as lp013 on nov 3, 2017.

inri063: these tracks are all based on existing demos from 2001-2002 that were initially intended to be completed with vocal parts and were remixed from july, 2014 to may, 2015 as purely instrumental recordings. released may 2, 2015. disc finalized as lp014 on nov 21, 2017. this is my sixth official record.

inri066: originally written, programmed and recorded from 1996-2002. reclaimed & remixed from june to december of 2015. initial completion date was december 31, 2015. disc finally released, closed and finalized on nov 26, 2017. lp015.

inri067: written and recorded between dec, 1999 and july, 2002, except the hidden track (which was created in the summer of 1998). none of these tracks were remastered or otherwise modified after 2002. disc simultaneously created and finalized as lp016 on nov 26, 2017.

inri068: originally written, programmed and recorded in varying states of finality over 2001 and 2002, except the hidden track (which was programmed in 1997). the associated tracks were completed between february, 2014 and may, 2015; these mixes, however, were spun off as late as nov, 2017. released as lp017 on nov 27, 2017. expanded and finalized on jan 1, 2018.

inri069: initially written and recorded between 1997-2003. this compilation idea was developed and expanded upon as an intended full record release between 2006 and 2011. reinterpreted, reconstructed and remixed between 2014-2018. sequenced over december, 2017 and january, 2018. disc released & finalized as lp018 and tetris I-IV on jan 7, 2018.

originally created from 1997-2003. this compilation is dated to april 28, 2003. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2018. compilation finalized on jan 9, 2018. as always, please use headphones. 

credits

released April 28, 2003

j - guitars (electric, acoustic, classical), digital & analog effest processing, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, electric & grand pianos, electric air reed organ, digital piano, flute, mandolin, voice, vocal noises & relics, electronic & analog drum kits, drum programming, drum manipulations, drum sampling, vocal manipulations, loops, orchestral & other sequencing, sampling, equalization, sound raider, found sounds, octavers, noise generators, cool edit synthesis, granular synthesis, generative synthesis, coughs, digital wave editing, production, composition, cover art.

sean - vocals, lyrics (inri053, inri057), harmonica (inri057, inri063, inri069), ring modulator (inri057, inri067, inri069).
greg - drum performance sample source (inri057, inri063, inri067-inri069)
jon - guitar performance (inri057)

the various rendered electronic orchestras include acoustic bass, synth bass, electric bass, brass, ftuba, french horn, trombone, trumpet, english horn, saxophone, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, flute, bamboo flute, piccolo, organ, sitar, bells, orchestra hit, melodic toms, timpani, orchestral drum set, drum machine, electrmoic drum kit, piano, clavinet, kalimba, hand drums, nylon guitar, distorted & clean electric guitars, guitar effects, guitar noises, synthesizers, synthesizer effects, music box, agogo, tubular bells, glockenspiel, koto, violin, viola, cello, contrabass and various full string sections. it also includes choir. 

 

 https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/lps-only-volume-2

inri063: these tracks are all based on existing demos from 2001-2002 that were initially intended to be completed with vocal parts and were remixed from july, 2014 to may, 2015 as purely instrumental recordings. released may 2, 2015. disc finalized as lp014 on nov 21, 2017. this is my sixth official record.

inri064: these tracks were written and recorded over november and december of 2002 and uploaded, unmodified, in may of 2015. released on may 2, 2015. re-released on physical media and finalized on nov 24, 2017.

inri065: written and recorded in early 2003. transcribed, slightly rearranged, remixed repeatedly and re-rendered repeatedly over may, 2015. released on may 16, 2015. expanded & finalized on nov 25, 2017.

inri066: originally written, programmed and recorded from 1996-2002. reclaimed & remixed from june to december of 2015. initial completion date was december 31, 2015. disc finally released, closed and finalized on nov 26, 2017. lp015.

inri067: written and recorded between dec, 1999 and july, 2002, except the hidden track (which was created in the summer of 1998). none of these tracks were remastered or otherwise modified after 2002. disc simultaneously created and finalized as lp016 on nov 26, 2017.

inri068: originally written, programmed and recorded in varying states of finality over 2001 and 2002, except the hidden track (which was programmed in 1997). the associated tracks were completed between february, 2014 and may, 2015; these mixes, however, were spun off as late as nov, 2017. released as lp017 on nov 27, 2017. expanded and finalized on jan 1, 2018.

inri069: initially written and recorded between 1997-2003. this compilation idea was developed and expanded upon as an intended full record release between 2006 and 2011. reinterpreted, reconstructed and remixed between 2014-2018. sequenced over december, 2017 and january, 2018. disc released & finalized as lp018 and tetris I-IV on jan 7, 2018.

originally created from 1997-2003. this compilation is dated to april 26, 2003. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2014-2017. compilation finalized on jan 9, 2018. as always, please use headphones. 

credits

released April 26, 2003

j - electric & acoustic & classical guitars, electric bass guitar, bass synth, digital & analog effects processing, synthesizers, electric air reed organ, electric & grand pianos, flute, voice, vocal noises & relics, analog & electronic drum kits, drum programming, drum manipulations, drum sampling, bowls, claps, tables, ebow, mandolin, orchestral & other sequencing, sampling, loops, equalization, light-sound synthesis, generative programming, granular synthesis, sound raider, noise generators, cool edit sequencing, found sounds, octavers, coughs, digital wave editing, sound design, production, composition.

sean - harmonica (inri063, inri069), ring modulator (inri067, inri069)
greg - drum performance sample source (inri063, inri067-inri069)

the various rendered electronic orchestras include tuba, french horn, trombone, trumpet, english horn, saxophone, brass section, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, flute, bamboo flute, piccolo, orchestra hit, melodic toms, hand drums, timpani, orchestral drum set, piano, agogo, celesta, xylophone, marimba, clavinet, kalimba, vibraphone, glockenspiel, tubular & other bells, music box, woodblock, mallet, electronic drum kit, drum machine, jazz drum kit, koto, synth pad, synth bass, synthesizer, synthesizer effects, mellotron, organ, sitar, acoustic bass, synth bass, electric bass, fingered bass guitar, picked electric guitar, nylon guitar, distorted & clean electric guitars, guitar effects, bowed electric guitar, guitar noises (fret noises, knocks, pick scrapes), violin, viola, cello, contrabass and various full string sections. it also includes choir. 

 

 https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-6

i spent the day creating purchase options on the bandcamp site - another thing that is kind of boring but need to be done.

i should be back to inri070, soon.

but, the update is that i added a lot of physical bundles around the alephs and the now four sequences i'm running: symph, lp, ambient and tetris. there's also some new bundles, so that most lps now have a pairing in a rational potential double record. i always intended to do this eventually, and here it is.

it's a big step in closing down period 2.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch

publishing inri069

the origins of the tetris project emerge in my records some time in mid-2006. i must have been filing some things on my hard drive, and wanting to put a bunch of the loose ends in the same folder, because what i remember is having a lot of loose tracks and trying to find a way to fit them together. the best commonality i could find in these tracks is that they all attempted to merge guitar music with electronic music, so i devised a project that would utilize these tracks by exploring this theme to it's fullest.

tetris is the idea of combining guitar music with technology. it just sat that way, for years, as a folder on my hard drive, with little progress towards actual completion.

when i set up the bandcamp site in 2010, i uploaded a number of these loose tracks under the album header 'tetris', with a promise to add tracks to it, slowly, until it completes. this was intended to be an eventual official record with an explicit techno flavour, and some tracks were, in fact, added to it. as of january, 2018, the majority of these tracks have been completed and re-released on my fifth or sixth records. so, this project has been dismantled, as it initially existed.

upon initial completion of my second period in may of 2015, i sat down to create a guitar volume. some work was completed on a mix tape of solo parts, but this was ultimately where i left off to go back to complete period 1. before i put it aside, i had decided on a three-volume set: a mix tape and a 2xcd set, with one cd being a tetris volume 1 (converted to an end-of-period compilation) and the other cd being of atmospheric, political and noise sections.

i didn't get back to this until late december, 2017 and sat down to create a tetris volume 1 as i had decided upon in 2015. but, what i started to realize as i was compiling it was that the reason that this connection presented itself amongst the scattered tracks i initially applied it to was that it is a fundamental aspect of my art - nearly every track i've written since 1998 takes the guitar through an exploration in the world of electronic music. i started to think more abstractly about it, this combination of technology with guitars, so that the definition fit across more genres than techno and idm. this wider interpretation of the project's mandate created a larger pool of tracks to choose from, and i eventually settled on two volumes for tetris: one with a faster tempo and more danceable tracks and one with a slower tempo and jazzier or more psychedelic tracks. some tracks that i identified as 'orchestral' were also put aside for future release on a later tetris volume.

the atmospheric disc wasn't initially contemplated of as a tetris release, it was rather meant to make the release an inclusive guitar works, as that is also a major component of my guitar presentation. but, my wider interpretation of the mandate allowed me to see that the tracks i had put aside for this compilation were also an exploration of guitars and technology. so, i created this disc as a tetris volume. a strategic decision was made to not include tracks on the first ambient works, but rather to defer to it as the ambient component of my second period guitar work.

i had also decided in late 2017 that i would create a compilation of guitar-only mixes for the lp sequence to close period 2, to draw special attention to the primary focus of my creations, which is the guitar work. i strongly contemplated releasing only disc 4 in this space of inri069, and leaving the other three for a later release, as a coherent multi-disc part tetris. however, the need to include inri071a in the tetris sequence necessitated releasing these tetris volumes in this space. further, a standalone release of disc 4 would also require a tetris number - it is certainly an integration of technology and guitars.

that makes inri071a tetris 5. i've also decided that inri072, the orchestral works, should be tetris 6.

as a six volume set, this compilation touches upon nearly every track that was written between 1998-2003 and has guitars in it by placing it into one or more of these six slightly overlapping categories. as such, this is a comprehensive introduction to my first two periods, from the perspective off my work as a guitarist.

initially written and recorded between 1997-2003. this compilation idea was developed and expanded upon as an intended full record release between 2006 and 2011. reinterpreted, reconstructed and remixed between 2014-2018. sequenced over december, 2017 and january, 2018. disc released & finalized as lp018 and tetris 1-4 on jan 7, 2018. as always, please use headphones.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2015, 2017-2018). 

credits

released April 26, 2003

j - guitars (electric, acoustic, nylon), digital & analog effects processing, ebow, mandolin, bass, bass synth, drum programming, analog & electronic drum kits, drum sampling, drum manipulations, vocals, vocal noises, sampling, orchestral & other sequencing, soundscaping, sound design, synthesizers, electric & grand pianos, electric reed organ, found sounds, octavers, noise generators, cool edit synthesis, granular synthesis, generative synthesis, loops, flute, coughs, digital wave editing, production

sean - harmonica (track 19), ring modulator (track 36)
greg - drum performance sample source (track 21)

the rendered electronic orchestra includes acoustic bass, synth bass, electric bass, brass, french horn, trombone, trumpet, tuba, english horn, saxophone, flute, bamboo flute, oboe, piccolo, clarinet, bassoon, orchestra hit, drum machine, electronic drum kit, agogo, tubular bells, glockenspiel, clavinet, kalimba, piano, melodic toms, hand drums, timpani, orchestral drum set, koto, nylon guitar, distorted & clean electric guitars, guitar effects, guitar noises, synthesizers, synthesizer effects, music box, piano, bells, organ, sitar, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, full string sections and mellotron. it also includes choir.

tetris 1-4 (inri069) is now completed.

tetris 5 will be the ambient works, vol 1 (inri071a). tetris 6 will be the orchestral works (inri072). there's no use in recreating these as tetris volumes, but they are developed guitar ideas in my discography that ought to be catalogued. further tetris volumes will follow at the ends of periods 3 (2003-2007) and 4 (2007-2011).

to recap, tetris is the idea of fusing guitar music with technology. it is also one of the central themes of my work, as a composer. the tetris series catalogues my various approaches towards this theme.

tetris 1: guitar-driven dance music.
tetris 2: guitar driven electro-psych.
tetris 3: guitar driven noise collages.
tetris 4: guitar-only mixes of selected period 2 tracks
tetris 5: guitar driven ambient music
tetris 6: guitar driven orchestral music

tetris 7: guitar driven 'epic rock' - extended pieces.
the ideas in volumes 1-3, 5-6 may be reprised for further volumes.

formal close to follow.

the compilation is done.

it's five and a half hours, and touches on pretty much every major track in the first two periods of my discography.

it will take some time to upload.

so, where am i with things?

i've finished up the fourth tetris disc, and have a rough listing for the third. the last mix had to be reconstructed to finish it...

the third disc is going to be a compilation of tracks where the guitar is used to create a wash of noise, or something otherwise atmospheric.

i had to replace this track.



the deleted mix was actually intended to be temporary; it was done a few days before i finished the main track, and i was going to then go back and re-render it when i finished it. this didn't happen. so, the mix ended up with some synthesizers in it that had to be taken out. it's now also an accurate "guitar only mix" for the final version of the track.

this mix will also appear on tetris. the discarded mix will be moved to the alephs.

republishing inri058

there are a few ideas in my discography that i've explored from multiple angles, but nothing else at all like this track, which has been through multiple complete rethinks involving multiple people over the course of sixteen years. as the revisions are so diverse, i think that a comprehensive collection of interpretations is a proper entry within my discography.

in the end, this emerges as my seventh symphony.

the collection is to be arranged chronologically in four discs consisting of two 2xcd sets, with the first two discs consisting of mixes that were meant for inclusion in band projects and the third and fourth consisting of mixes that were created after the track was moved into my own various one-person projects. further discussions of the various incarnations of the tracks appear on the track pages.

written over 2001 and 2002 and rethought repeatedly between 2002-2014, with no clear resolution in a final mix. reconstructed from source in late 2014 and then rendered at multiple stages to create a series of snapshots. final mixes were completed over the last week of november and the first week of december. released as a two-volume set on dec 7, 2014. the concept was rethought on nov 3, 2017, which led to the inclusion of five more mixes and an expansion to four cds. re-released in four volumes & finalized as symph007 on nov 12, 2017. the raw guitar mix was corrected on jan 6, 2018. as always, please use headphones.

credits

j - electric & acoustic & classical guitars, analog & digital effects & processing, electric bass guitar, synthesizers, drum programming, orchestral sequencing (12), drum manipulation, vocal manipulation, voice (9), digital wave editing, loops, equalizers, soundscaping, sampling, composition, production, cover art

sean - vocals/lyrics (2,5,7), ring modulator (7-9, 11, 13-14, 16)

greg - drum performance sample source (4, 6-9, 11, 13)

bob - hammering (3)

the rendered electronic orchestra on track 12 includes tuba, saxophone, flute, clarinet, orchestra hit, piano, violin, viola, cello, contrabass and various full string sections.

released july 4, 2002

another decision: i had included a few 'orchestral' works in the epic rock compilation, because it sort of fit, but i've taken them out. the way i'm going to do this is that the guitar disc for the orchestral pieces will be the orchestral works, and i'll add the slow version of the time machine as a bonus track.

there will be material from the orchestral works in the tetris compilation, but where it fits.

i just felt forced to include the guitar concerto on a guitar works, but it doesn't really fit the description of tetris well - it's an overture and concerto and should be catalogued accordingly.

and, so, i should be explicit, and rename the release to tetris, 1-4.

on second thought, now that i've put the third disc aside as two further potential volumes, i can release a four volume set, if i include the guitar mixes, and why not, it fits the theme.

four is just permanent.

i still need to determine what i actually am going to create and then order it afterwards...

the most recent update is that the second tetris disc is sequenced, but the third has been put aside; it may end up as two discs. there is at least one more tetris disc to sequence, but i won't be releasing any of them in the inri069 space. as of now. i think. they will likely have a release date of something like 2011, in something like a 6 disc set. but, i could still decide that it's worthwhile to release a double in this space.

right now, what i'm wanting to do is sequence the guitar collage disc, as it kind of has to be sequenced before the next tetris disc. and, i'm realizing that one of my guitar mixes isn't a guitar mix at all.

so, i'm going to have to update inri058. i wish i would have caught this in november, but so be it.

it looks like this guitar collage disc will be what is published in inri069, unless i get a good 4 disc tetris set, in which case i can release the remaining volumes later.

so, where am i with things?

i've got the second and third tetris discs created, i just have to sequence them. but, i'm leaning towards not releasing this for a while, perhaps positioning it as late as 2013 in a 5 or 6 volume set.

tetris is the idea of mixing technology with guitar music. the three compiled expressions of this are in the form of a dance music setlist, a psychedelic music setlist and an epic rock setlist. a fourth expression of this in the form of atmospheric guitar music may follow shortly.

the only thing i've put aside for definite release in the inri069 space is the disc of guitar mixes - that is, songs stripped down only to the guitar parts. i'm also going to be getting a head start on a number of mix tapes, with the possibility of a release, but the likelihood of half-releases, to be put aside for later.

what i'm doing right now is sequencing these two discs and taking a look at the fourth volume.

i was just using my compass to pull a piece of lint out of my lighter (it's the worst when that happens...), when i started to realize that the ancient greeks probably used compasses for pretty much everything. if you can imagine this bearded greek old man, using this giant compass as a claw in his daily tasks - holding pita bread sandwiches, swapping away flies, getting that itch in that hard to reach spot. it's almost like that edward scissor-hands, isn't it?

i'm now fully convinced that all greeks lived like this, with compass as primary general utensil.

what we understand in the universe is largely restricted to concepts of motion. unfortunately, a fairly good understanding of motion may have led us to a false conclusion that we understand the universe well because we understand it's motions well.

most objects in the universe still perplex us at the most basic levels - we don't really know what they do, and if we do know then we don't know why, and if we don't know then we propose mathematical theories about them.

take the sun. we can measure how the sun moves fairly well. and, we know it shines. but, we don't really have any predictive theory to explain how the fluctuations in the sun's strength vary. this is a total mystery.

we may in the end find out that the laws of motion are actually not particularly useful in understanding the universe at all.

so, i put my upload of this mix on hold, to explore the possibility of adding another track, to spin inside dull aberrations. this would have required some strategic cuts to fit on to one cd, but it was plausible, and a cut was made. but, the track just doesn't fit the aesthetic on the disc, as much as i want it to.

so, what is this, then? this is the first officially complete volume of tetris, an idea i've been kicking around for a while, since i think 2007. and, it may in the end end up separated from inri069, and placed in a release sequence deep in 2011 instead, as the first part of a two or four cd set. but, this is a volume in a set of some sort, at least.

tetris is an idea that is meant to combine technology with lead guitar work, which i realized around ten years ago is a dominant theme in my work, worth separately cataloguing. many rough lists of tracks intended for a tetris release have circulated, over the years. there will be a tetris release of some sort that documents 2003-2011, potentially several.

the first tetris release is intended to focus on danceable tracks driven with a lead guitar part. spin is just too much of a rock song. i'm considering a second immediate tetris release, focused on trip-hop, but it may be put off until 2007.

i'm considering a third volume of atmospheric guitar music, but that too may be put off - as might the mix tape of solos.

so, there's still a lot of work to do in compiling and organizing the components of this release. but, this cd will be a completed segment, moving forwards.

so, are we just tiny microscopic life forms in the greater context of a much wider biological entity, possibly with some kind of consciousness?

i'm just struck by the synchronicity of the dimming of the sun with the warming of the atmosphere, almost as though one is acting to balance the other out - and while some may want to interpret this as a sign of a higher power, i think a more naturalistic explanation lies in something mechanistic, like the parts of a living organism. maybe the stars that form this organism even arrange into a constellation of a duck, if you could see it from the outside, which we will never be able to, because we are on the inside of it. well, maybe we could catch a reflection, somehow. or be lucky enough to catch a glimpse into some curvature in space. but, we can't see ourselves in the night sky.

now, you could run a computer simulation to determine the empirical question of whether our mathematical understanding of the universe projects a duck into other parts of the galaxy, if we have anything approximating enough data. you could potentially model it on a computer screen, but you'd have to go to virtual reality to really see the duck that we may or may not project. and, there would always be uncertainty levels.

no, to truly determine the empirical question of whether or not the galaxo-spacial biological entity we exist as a component of appears as a duck to other parts of the galaxy will require travelling there to see for ourselves. that's settled.

but, then, what if the constellations that we see are also galaxo-spacial biological entities? see, as i've mentioned a few times, i'm kind of open to the idea of religion as a ufo cult - and astrology was at one point a religion. contemporary westerners of a liberal scientific mindset tend to scoff at astrology as a lot of contrived nonsense, and they're not technically wrong, but their scorn obscures the fact that these ideas come from a lost religion that acted as a syncretic bridge between mathematics, astronomy and mysticism - that this is actually derived from legitimate ancient science. that doesn't mean that there's any value to the zodiac - this is not my argument, don't misunderstand me. but, it does suggest that there are maybe ritualized relics embedded in the zodiac that remember the relatively advanced science of the babylonian era, which was a high point for astronomy in the ancient world, this period of learning itself spurred by even more ancient stories, such as those told in egypt.

they kept very careful records, apparently. they were tracking things, looking for patterns. but, people don't realize how long this period of early civilization really was, before the languages started to change in the middle east, with the persians and then the greeks. if you're standing in babylon in the year 500 bce, you have 4000 years of astronomical records to draw on. the egyptians had even more than that. our science is based on a few hundred years of observation. so, they had more observations than we do, and more data to infer from. one has to think that inferences were made. if we could retrieve this data somehow, we might be able to predict the next several solar cycles better, if we could see a longer term pattern.

some of these patterns may be hidden in the zodiac, but you'd have to be careful, because it's also full of traps. first, if it finds a pattern, it's inevitably going to project it too perfectly, and project a cycle far less chaotic than reality. second, the mathematical writing that they used was cumbersome, and it produced a lot of error due to crude approximation arising from difficulties using that system. so, their calendar was actually wrong. and, it's been out of sync for centuries. it would require a lot of calculation to resync this, and then it wouldn't even be clear what you're comparing. it seems absurd to consult a source for predictive value when it can't even get the date right, right?

still, there could be useful information in there, if it's calibrated right. we'll never know until we pass through it and look back and reconstruct it. why were they so interested in the stars in the first place, though? and what's with all these stories of people coming up and down from the sky?

if there are living galaxo-spacial biological entities in the universe, then perhaps the movement of bodies in the sky has more to do with how the ancients imagined it than we currently think.

"have you seen my cat?"

that's twice, this week. and, here's the hard truth for windsorites: your cat ran away to join the colony, and you'll have to deal with it. the feral cats here have a really strong invisible network of scent signals that will lure your cat away immediately, if you let sight of it for even one second, outside. i wouldn't even be surprised to hear about cats darting out when doors are left open a crack, after waiting all day to follow the smell, as it walked by outside.

i've been arguing that the city needs a serious straight out feline cull. i know what they say about how trap, neuter & return is a preferable option, but that presumes a certain level of manageability. we may, unfortunately, be at the point where we require an all out slaughter of feral cats, because their existing numbers are already too much of a problem for a t-n-r to cut down on.

but, the colony will in some way affect your cat, even if it's isolated enough from the aromas that it only gets  the odd sniff of it. the ones that it drags out, zombie like, will be converted to the cause of the colony upon arrival. and, this is simply hormonal - no amount of pleading will change your cat's minds. once assimilated, they are gone - never to return to snuggling, or to the far more subversive kneading, at that. their minds are washed of their existence as slaves to humans, however absurd that formulation is when related to cats, and given a new life of meaning to protect, defend and expand the colony. do not waste your time - they are gone.

as it's purely chemical, and we're both basically the same kind of mammal, of course this is possible in humans, if you can find the right magic password, the right chemical bonds. you can get an idea of how we're sometimes driven purely by hormones when you look at the fight or flight response; we literally don't think in these situations, we just succumb to this hormone that forces us to react. this is a ways from actual chemical mind control. and, the instincts available to program are likely to be biological responses that might not be useful and might even be dangerous - lust, for example. but, i think the chemistry likely exists to turn a human's brain right off in order to accomplish a biological urge, and it would probably be experienced by the conscious host as a blackout in memory. one could no doubt find detailed examples that fit this description.

if you lose your cat around here, though? it's gone. to the colony.

i think i'm done my distraction with the usb key, now. i didn't salvage anything off of it, but i convinced myself that what was on it was routine. i was just paranoid about forgetting something. if i did, there's no evidence it existed.

i still don't know what happened with that; i stopped writing to the key immediately after the weirdness happened, so the files should have been easily accessible. but, they only came up on a deep scan, and they came with some directory corruption, as though they'd been decaying on the drive a while. it's all very strange.

what i remember doing is deleting two files in the root directory, leaving a folder called bd-2 in tact. that's a little blurry as to the exactness of the directory structure, which is what it causing me all of this pause. but, the whole drive wiped. my initial thought was that i accidentally deleted the folder and it should be a quick undelete. but it seems more like that the thing collapsed under itself; it just vanished. do file directories randomly collapse like that, or is it further sign of intrusion?

remember the prime directive. you can't be fucking with my files like this. i actually have no delusions as to the nature of "network privacy", but zapping my usb key crosses boundaries. if somebody did zap me, please don't do it again.